The Wild Old Lady Exiled To Florida

Portrait Finally Completed! Kind of.....Another Lesson Learned by an Old New Artist

2009-10-30T14:31:00.002-04:00

Well, here's the final portrait of Yvonne, completed two months earlier than requested. I would have liked to fuss with it more, but Yvonne's widower was leaving Florida to go to his son's home in New Hampshire, and wanted to take it with him....

Here is the problem with letting people see a portrait before it is finished....

Either they don't understand that the painting is "not done yet" and they hate it.... or they "Love it as it is" and don't understand how much better it can be if they let you have more time to finish it.

If your client hates the painting, you don't want to invest more time working on it. You can't sell people on something that is in your imagination. I find it easiest to back off, saying "I guess that is one thing I am just not good at painting.... So sorry."

If the client "loves" the painting "as is", I used to think that was a problem. Now I realize that if the person who has consigned the painting loves it, and tears of joy well up in their eyes, the painting IS "done".

The mission in painting for a client is to bring them joy through the painting. It does not have to be a masterpiece to the artist, it only has to be a masterpiece to the client!

In the case of Yvonne's portrait, having another two months to make final adjustments and refinements would have made it a better painting. To me, that is... I don't know if the refinements would have made a difference to Henry.

Once Henry saw the painting (my mistake), he fell in love with it! I didn't even have the hands drawn in, but he wanted it less than a week to take to his son, in New Hampshire.

So I rushed painting the arms and hands, and slapped the painting into one of my own frames that he wanted... 30 minutes before he walked into the door to take it.... He was a very happy man as he left posessing the portrait of the woman he fell in love with fifty years ago.

So I learned a lesson. Maybe I have to get "over" thinking I am a Vermeer, and should stop trying to create masterpieces. Doing everything to the finest detail makes me crazy at times, and that is not what creating art should be about. A portrait should make a client happy.... end of story!

I will always try to be better, but I am not going to try to force "better" any more. There is a fine line between putting in effort to improve oneself, and trying to reach unrealistic goals in one big jump.

OK, if people are thrilled with a painting at a certain stage, it's their painting, and I have learned now to let it go, then....

So, for someone who just started to paint at age 62, I guess I have more to learn than just how to work with those paints!

Always be willing to learn, like that Wild Old Lady, who now has to go into her studio to clean it up! :)

Stop building a "Regret Pile" by knowing there IS NO "Later",

2009-10-30T12:11:00.000-04:00

This is a photo of our favorite fishing spot on Gould Lake, Ontario. It was taken on what we didn't realize was our final visit. We took a quick two-hour tour of the lake, and I hurriedly snapped as many photos as I possibly could.

We could have stayed on the lake longer, but were hurried back to the cabin for reasons that didn't matter. I could have taken 1,000 more photos, but we decided we would go back out on the lake "later". There was and never will be a "later"....

That has probably happed to you, too. Yet I bet you still believe you will do this or that "later".... Then when you lose the opportunity to do something "later", you gain a regret to add to your "Regret Pile"! Hmmmmm....

What does one do with a "Regret Pile"? .... hah, you use it to "beat" yourself up with! More accurately, you waste your "Nows" with internal whining over lost opportunities.

If you can blame others for your "Lost Opportunities", all the better! Then you can whine out loud, sucking all the joy out of the moment of "Now" for everyone else around you. Yes, Misery does love company!

If you want to enjoy today, listen to me, and STOP putting things off! Just stop it!

Take that "Regret Pile" and put it in the garbage. You can't do anything about yesterday's "I'll do it later".... mistakes.

All you really have is "now", so begin to use it to it's fullest....

The "I'll Do It Later" philosophy seems to permeate ones life like a "dancing baby" virus. Before you know it, there are so many things in your "Later" pile, that you become overwhelmed! I speak from experience....

Now here's a good first step to take... Pick a small daily chore that you usually put off, and take two minutes to do it!

I used to put off making my bed. I became so lax, that finally I was making the bed at night, just before I went to bed! I don't think I was being lazy, because I was busy all day.... That was my excuse, "Oh, I have this to do, so I'll make my bed later". Then all day, every time I saw the unmade bed, it bothered me, but I always found something more interesting or pressing to do. I would beat myself up a bit, but still walk past the unmade bed.

When I experienced my "Eureka Moment", about the infamous "Later" I began to make my bed in the morning again. Now, I say to myself "There is no later.", and I take the two minutes to make the bed. I feel a lot better about myself.

Every day I do at least one little job that I have been putting off for "later". These little accomplishments enhance the quality of my life.

If you are a procrastinator, you too can improve the quality of your life! .... Small steps will eventually take you to the top of a skyscraper.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the many photos I was able to take at Gould Lake in 2008, and now I take my camera everywhere with me. If I see something in the moment that I want to photograph, I have my husband turn the car around. It was worth it, to miss those other photos of Gould Lake, because I learned an important lesson.... There is no "Later".

So I hope you too will learn from my lesson! Love to you "Now", because this Wild Old Lady is going to her studio to paint ... Now!

Genealogy - Even if you're not a genealogist, write down what you know!

2009-10-26T18:06:00.000-04:00

There are my family books.... only one was compiled by family genealogists and printed properly.... The others are an assortment of notes about different family lines I came from ... names and stories.

Perhaps I will never get around to taking this information a step further, but at least it is written down and semi-organized so that if one of my descendants is interested in family history, they will have a good "starting point"....

That's more than I ever had.... With the Gallinger family, I only knew my grandfather's name, and remembered that an uncle once casually noted that his grandparents were named "Joseph and Mary"....

With the internet so available, I just happened to find a reference to Lily Worrall, who was researching the Gallinger Family. When I gave her my grandfather's name, she said there were several "Robert Gallinger's" in that generation. When I mentioned his parents were Mary and Joseph, that narrowed it down to Joseph Gallinger and Mary Crites Gallinger as being the parents of Robert! That was an important detail!

Lily is my cousin three times over in the Gallinger family... (Don't even ask...!) and more talented than I ever will be!

Six months later I was in Cornwall, Ontario, attending a Gallinger Reunion with almost 300 Gallingers who came from across the United States and Canada to attend!

I found out that I was descended from men who fought in the American Revolution, but for the "Crown".... (I also am getting close to finding a different group of ancestors fought for the United States.... Small world, eh?

To compensate for the absence of information I received from my own parents, I am making sure my own children get all the info possible. I know that it is only important who and what you are. It doesn't matter who your ancestors are, in the end. It's just a fun hobby, and full of surprises....!

There was a magic moment when I looked at a dour photo of my great, great grandmother... I said to myself, "They had to sit very still back then to have a photo turn out.... Do you think she pursed her lips to hold her face still? That would account for the pouty look..." Then I went to a mirror, pursed my lips... and oh my Gosh, there was a somber Mary Jane Brotherton looking back at me! What a moment hah...!

So when you are laughing at your ancestor's photos, try mugging a little in front of your mirror! You might be surprised at what you see!

Well, now I must go and paint! Love to all of you from that Wild Old Lady in Florida who's writing notes for her kids and making faces in the mirror :) !

My Original Matson Oil Painting! - Which Matson Did It?

2009-10-26T11:14:00.002-04:00

This original 24" x 24" oil painting, signed "Matson" was given to me over ten years ago by my Dad, who was living in Sun City, Arizona. I don't know where he obtained it, but he and my stepmother were "down-sizing", and gave us three original oil paintings while Corky and I were there on a visit.

Although the colors were bright, I hung it in the loft area of my log home in Orchard Park, New York, and it made that casual area sparkle.

In 2003 I began to create art myself (which has taken over our home), so my lively Matson painting has been bubble-wrapped and stored on a closet shelf in our Brooksville, Florida home. Now we are now "downsizing", and have decided to sell it. I went on the internet to research the name "Matson".

(Closeup of Artist's Signature)

I have found several Matson's who are artists on the internet! Todd Matson does wonderful work... but could this have been an early painting? R.J. Matson is a cartoonist, but could this have been an early oil, done as a student? There are dozens of Matsons out there! So who painted this colorful painting? Here are some close-ups...

There might be a clue in how the canvas was stretched.... Here's a peek at the back....

Ok, I put it out there! If anyone knows which "Matson" painted this painting... I would love to know also!

Thank you for caring .... from the grateful Wild Old Lady who is having fun today in Florida!

Niagara Falls Police Dept. - Working there in the 1970's

2009-10-24T20:47:00.000-04:00

Yes, this "Wild Old Lady" once worked for the police department in her home town of Niagara Falls, New York! Here is the Official Identification and Badge to prove it! Hah....

In the photo, I am the one without glasses, the long hair hanging down, and the impish look on my face.... On my I.D. I affected a more serious look, with my long locks pinned up into a bun-type bouffant "granny" hairdo.

We transcriptionists (clerk-typists) were assigned to a platoon and worked the same shift they did... We worked crazy shifts... and switched from one shift to another as soon as we became accustomed to one! No wonder so many police walk around with unsettled dispositions... (See how diplomatic I can be? ...)

Seriously, I was always sleep-deprived, and this was not good while raising two daughters.

However, it was a most interesting job, and there are a few humerous stories I will tell about it in future blogs.

How we typed the reports was like this... When the cops ended their shift, they would go in the transcription room, pick up a phone, and read their hand-scribbled reports into the recording system. Once reports were recorded, a red light would go on in the Transcription Room.

In the glass walled Transcription Room, the transcriptionist would put on her headset, as soon as she saw the red light come on. She had a typewriter, with a stack of blank forms at her disposal at all times.

She would type the report out on the official form, word for word, until all the forms were typed. If one typist couldn't finish all the reports, the next typist would start where the previous one left off.... If that red light was "a-blinkin" then she had better be "a-typin"! Amen!

For some reason, the worst reports came in during the midnight shift.... I will never forget that I had to type in "Homicide", then the name of a man I once dated. Later in the report, the "killer" was also someone I had known.. a girl who used to live in the same neighborhood, and we all used to go out together. That was a shock, but it went with the job.

The second time I had to type "homicide", the victim was a very nice man who dated a friend of mine for many years. That crime was never solved.

It was not enjoyable to type those reports, along with the detectives more detailed accounts. When you worked at the Police Department, you were sworn to never divulge details of your work to the outside world, and that was the hardest part. You just had to go home and pretend that Police Department business never existed. I never divulged anything confidential to this day. (Of course, I almost forgot I even worked at the NFPD.... hah!)

So, try to stay on the straight and narrow, folks, or some sleep-deprived cop might have to come and get you!

Love to all from that Wild Old Lady who is in Florida with her art, and her memories!

The Biggest Loser's BEST Tip! Subway Veggie Delight Sub!

2009-10-24T19:20:00.000-04:00

You are looking at half a Veggie Sub on a Honey Oat roll... from Subway! Doesn't it look good? This is what I ate for lunch!

Now here is the second half of the sub which I ate for dinner, with my own pieces of fresh-baked chicken tenders inserted! These chicken pieces are not "Mystery Meat"... they came from my own freezer!

So one sub, all my vegetables for the day, my protein for the night, very little fat, and almost no effort on my part!

Is that a plan, or what, folks?

Where did I get such a brilliant idea? ... From "The Biggest Loser" television show! One of the contestants, when she had to go home for a week, yet stay on a good eating plan... went to "Subway" with her friends and ordered a veggie sub.

I thought ... cool! When I buy lettuce, tomatoes... etc., it usually wilts in my refrigerator after one use. Also, it's hard to use a whole bag of rolls up, without overeating!

So, this is my adaptation of this week's tip from "The Biggest Loser" show, and I gladly pass it on to you!

Now I say... "enjoy"! And have a nice night from that Wild Old Lady who is painting up a storm tonight with a full tummy!

Artist's Don't Cook A Lot.... or - My Husband Thinks I've Lost My Touch in the Kitchen

2009-10-23T17:00:00.000-04:00

I don't cook a lot... I'm always saying... "Now I'm off to my studio to paint..." and I do...

A few years ago I decided that I only have time to cook a lot and paint a little, OR I can paint a lot, and not cook.

At that time, my cooking skills also strangely began to "slip".... (Even though I finally had the red and black kitchen I had always wanted).

Does it say 1950's or what?

Anyway, cooking a large meal for two people just doesn't make sense if you want to do other things in life.... (and if you don't have a lot of time left.)!

So we go to a lot of great local eateries where I manage to eat healthily while my Corky can eat all the greasy foods he loves and maintains his waistline with!

Yesterday we went to Rooster's Cafe... Now just look at this great turkey sub I had!

I had to take all the chips and half the sandwich home! The turkey had been roasted there, and it was fresh!

So, who needs to cook! hah...

Well, off to the studio.... I have a painting to finish!

While you're cooking dinner, be sure to know you have the blessings of that Wild Old Lady who is painting in Florida!

Been "there", done "that"!

UpDate on Oil Portrait of Yvonne Columbe

2009-10-23T09:56:00.000-04:00

Isn't she lovely? (16" x 20" oil painting... almost done!)

After changing the background color four times, and all the measurements I did checking her features with the original photo... to make sure all the proportions were correct... Phew!

I called Henry (Yvonne's Widower) over to view the portrait for the first time, and tears came to his eyes.... A success!

What a difference from the photographers photo that was "colorized", tones in gray, and faded with time! It brought back to his mind the memory of the vibrant woman he married!

All I have to do is some correcting and refinement of the ear, do the small part of hands and arms showing, then go over her sweater to even the color out, and define some of the folds.... easy work now... The hardest part was getting the face "right"....

He is leaving in a week and wants to take it with him, so I have to go now and finish her portrait!

Make sure you have wonderful photos of those you love, taken in their prime! You too might want to have a portrait done someday!

Love to you, friend, from that Wild Old Lady who is painting and loving it in Florida!

Watercolor Tree In Lagoon, Florida... Complete Fantasy!

2009-10-23T09:43:00.000-04:00

I just took this watercolor out, since I am almost done with Yvonne's portrait. I put this one away a month ago to get away from it because I wasn't sure I liked the way it was turning out. Now it is growing on me again! (A note to fellow artists... Always put a painting away for awhile before you "dump" it!)

This scene was begun with my spraying and splashing watercolors to make the "swamp gas" type background... Then I splattered resist around in patterns to simulate both insects flying around the tree, and gas rising from the waters.

Started in watercolor, on 22" x 30" 300 pound watercolor paper, I then used some acrylic colors where I wanted more density and "punch". I also began outlining with a fine-line ink pen the 1,000 or so areas above the water where I had rubbed the "resist" off. (Aren't all artists a little "mad"?)

Below the water I decided to do a "cutaway" showing what is below the water, and I still have some resist on little bait fish outlines that I will define later on.

(After all, the painting wasn't complex enough to strain my already overworked brain, and I am sure that for my 100 hours of work I might actually get $100.00! ... hah!)

There is a lot of work to do, but now with a fresh eye I am ready to do it... (I need at least 3 paintings to work on simultaniously... Most artist will tell you that... Why? Because we are crazy enough to love doing it!...)

Here's my crude beginning of "below the water".... cute?

This area will be intriguing once I figure out exactly how to do it. (Oh, don't worry, I will!)

Don't you just love the way the light shines on this artwork, making it seem to "come alive"? I almost changed the location of my "photo shoot", to avoid the morning light, but then I enjoyed the way the light played on the paper... so that's it!

I better get busy, but always have time to send Love to you all, from that Wild Old Lady who paints in Florida!

Art Trading Cards... Here Are A Couple of Mine!

2009-10-21T10:41:00.001-04:00

Here's my little Alaskan Salamander, painted in oil, a miniature of 2-1/2" x 3-1/2"...!

It has been said that Art Trading Cards are a modern innovation.... Not True! They were used in Vincent Van Gogh's time for sure, and much earlier. I understand that they were used in early times so artists could carry portable samples of their work, as photography did not exist at that time. I am surprised to see reputable sources citing these as a "new" art form. Shame! (Hah.... if I have to be the new expert, we are in terrible trouble...!)

This is my first attempt at painting the Gould Lake (Ontario, Canada) scene, and I did it in miniature "Art Trading Card" form. See how clear the water is? Makes you want to jump in!

This watercolor study of a vase of flowers behind a colored glass window was done in the miniature size of 4-1/2" x 5-1/2"....

When you do enough of these studies, they help you develop your skill. They are fun and easy to do! I can't sell this one because it is about 80% copied from a book, but I have done quite a few more originals, based on this idea!

As a novice, I started a few large watercolor paintings because I like to work "large" (Large seems to match me!) .... Error, error!!! Always do small works of art first, when you are a novice!

Well, back to my painting, now.... Bye for now, you wonderful, discerning Art Lovers.... From that Wild Old Lady's Studio in Florida!

Gould Lake, Ontario, Canada... You Can See Through The Clear Water!

2009-10-20T15:23:00.003-04:00

This is a 8-1/2" x 11-1/2" watercolor study of a photo I took from the vista of a Pontoon Boat while at Gould Lake in 2008. I will be doing this painting in oils because I really love the scene, and will be able to execute it more skillfully in that medium...

(I painted this scene first on a miniature Art Card, 2-1/2" x 3-1/2", called ACEO's on Ebay.)

There are so many beautiful lakes in Ontario where you can see through the pure water.... I could live another 100 years and still not see all of them!

Life is good.... Bye from that Wild Old Lady who lives in Florida!

A Winter Scene Beginning... "A Sketch In Time"..

2009-10-20T15:14:00.000-04:00

Being raised in Niagara Falls, New York, I am used to winter scenes! Though I never loved driving on icy roads, I always delighted in sitting at a window on a cold winter's night and looking at the frosty scene outside!

This winter (in Florida) I am digging out some of my old photos and painting some of the winter scenes that I used to enjoy in person!

I have begun the above study in graphite, to be executed in watercolor.... If I really like it, I will paint it in oils! Oil painting offers the best way to maximize effects....

Formerly I used to just try to paint anything in oils, but am choosing more carefully now. I find that the investment of a minimum of three months of my life in a painting that I might not like at the end... is too costly!

Now I invest a week or two in a sketch, then watercolor, and that helps me to decide if the subject is worthy of "oil".... hah...

It's kind of like dating a man awhile before you marry him! It gives you time to work out the "kinks" before you make your committment... Amen!...

More love to you, along with my good advice on love and painting.... from that Wild Old Lady who finds herself unexpectedly living in Florida!

Fantasy In Watercolor - Underwater Scene With Flowers!

2009-10-20T10:35:00.007-04:00

This is my 11" x 14" watercolor painting "Underwater Scene - Fantasy 101"...

(I would love to illustrate a children's book! Can you see it?)

I started by putting random circles of resist on 140 lb. watercolor paper, using various sized bottle caps. This was done spontaniously, without thinking of the end result. Fun, eh?

Then I wet the paper and introduced various colors, letting some mix, while some colors were left in puddles to intensify.

After this dried, I looked at the result and let the shapes "speak" to me.... Some shapes said "bubbles", "fish", "flowers", "gecko", and "sponges". No matter that some of these things are land-bound, and others were water-bound.

I looked around carefully to make sure the "Anti-Creative Cops" weren't looking, and then I painted my little fantasy....

A closeup of my little seahorse and sea "critters"!

A Detail of Floral Elements!

So enjoy, my dears....... from that Wild Old Lady in Florida, who's returning to her studio now to paint some more!

Oh, Hannity, You're STILL at it!!!

2009-10-19T19:12:00.003-04:00

I don't watch political programs any more!

But.... the other night, whilst "channel" surfing I made the mistake of lingering on Fox for 10 seconds.... just long enough to see an intense, Artery Popping "Hannity", and hear him spew out the following words .... "the White House Propaganda Department....."

(click... I clicked off...)

Oh my Gosh! Now I know he knows there is no Department in the White House called the "Propaganda Department", so he was just engaging in one of his typical rants.

I don't care which "side" these rants favor, and who is doing the "ranting". This type of rhetoric is dividing the American People, inciting fear and inflaming the "nuts".. (Hmmmm .... roasted nuts, anyone?)

Come on, let's calm down, Hannity. Keep on going like this and some day you might have a "melt-down" like the "Wicked Witch of The West" did on the "Wizard of Oz"...

Hah .... as far as I'm concerned, I am not on a "side". I wish everyone would stop fighting and do what is right for the American people....

Oh well, there is money to be made by getting on T.V. and ranting.... I hope more people wise up and stop taking the "rants" seriously...

Back to the studio! This Wild Old Lady in Florida is going to paint some bugs! hah.... Make "do" with what you have! Love to you all!

Learning How To Paint Grapes in Watercolor

2009-10-19T18:23:00.002-04:00

Grapes are a lot of fun to paint, using the medium of watercolor! You don't have to do a serious painting, just throw some paint on watercolor paper, and begin to make the shapes....

Then adjust them so they make sense as part of a little clump connected by vines. You can make each grape a different color if you want to! It's your painting! You learn better by having fun with it. Nobody has to see these little "studies"!

Well, back to the studio! Ciao!.....

Yvonne Columbe's Portrait and a Greek Goddess Doodle

2009-10-19T14:52:00.008-04:00

This is a portrait in oil I am working on. Finally, after the 4th try, I have settled on a background. Now I will let it dry and I can return to the face, make adjustments, then I can paint her hair. It will be looser, fuller, and darker!

Yvonne is the wife of a friend of ours and sadly she passed away. This portrait, taken from a "young" photo, will be given to our friend in her honor.

This will hopefully be the last portrait I have to paint from a "colorized" photo. These old photos were black and whites,... and photographers used special colored inks to tone them with. At times photographers would play around with the facial features until the original person was beyond recognition. Thank goodness, looking through a magnifying glass I saw that this photographer was at least true to the subject's features. My only challenge was to get beyond the horrible gray tints to come up with lively coloring. It will turn out well.

Oh, for fun.... here is a Doodle I made... It's the back view of a Greek Goddess, done in loose watercolor.... just to show you I can paint in a looser manner!

Remember, that Wild Old Lady in Florida paints almost every day, so be careful she doesn't take your photo! .... Hah... what fun!

Step-Grandmothers... Is there such a thing?

2009-10-18T11:47:00.006-04:00

The only grandmother I ever knew was not related to me by blood. I was aware of that because she was talked about in front of me in a disparaging way... She was never forgiven for having been grampa's housekeeper before they married.

I grew up hearing "Lil... this", and "Lil that...", all petty picking at everything Lil did that even a small child recognizes as unfair critizism.

However, despite the disharmony, my grandmother took a real interest in me, and many of the moral lessons I learned during my childhood were learned from her. She was a strong woman who, in her 70's, still cooked wonderful meals every day that make me marvel, now that I am almost that age. I don't know how she did it! Her house was immaculate, all of their clothes were starched and ironed daily, and most important... she listened to me!

She forgave me for peeing on her shoes one day when I was riding with her and grampa, and I just "had" to "go". "Going" on the side of a deserted country road, with her standing close to shield my 5 year old modesty turned out to be a bad decision. I still remember her immaculatly polished white shoes with the pretty "cutouts" in the leather, that showed her stockinged feet in their lacy design. I was horrified when I inadvertantly sprayed on those feet, but my grandmother found a way to make it all right.

She and Grampa moved from Niagara Falls, New York to Fowlerville, New York when I was about five. I remember all the resentfull remarks made about this move, but even then I understood my grandparents wanting to get away from family problems and live in peace.

(The Home in Fowlerville)

Luckily, in addition to family visits, I was allowed to go there for a couple of weeks alone each summer. They lived in the country and there was the "hardship" of using a "chamber pot" at night, and the smelly outhouse during the day. Balance that with getting away from the chaos I was raised in, I will choose to use an outhouse every time!

Instead of listening to my parents and siblings argue at night, I got to sit peacefully on a country porch with my grandparents before bed. Cleaned up by grandma and in pajamas and bathrobe, we listened to the crickets. There was little conversation... they sat and rocked, and I enjoyed looking at the stars and being happy. It was a secure time!

Grampa had a garden he tended, and "manly" chores that he performed. Of German heritage, he performed his duties with thoroughness, and without fanfare. There were fresh vegetables on the table every day, prepared by my grandmother.... usually in serving bowls with cream on them.

Grandma also had a reputation for having a "green thumb". Everyone in that little village of Fowlerville who had a plant they were giving up on brought it to my grandmother. She usually managed to bring the plant back to life for them.

Sometimes she could only save one leaf....but that was all she seemed to need. She didn't have access to modern, fancy fertilizers... but she knew where the "good" soil in the garden was. First, she would "root" the leaf in water, then she planted it in a pot with her special mix of soil.

The inside of her kitchen window with it's stands filled with plants looked like a botanical garden... She told me that this was where the "right" sun came in to nourish the plants.

She also canned for the winter in her "summer kitchen" on a huge, old fashioned wood-fired stove. There was always home-preserved jelly on the breakfast table. Oh my gosh... it was there every day!

My favorite jelly was her currant jelly, and I had a part in it. She said "If you want more, all you have to do is pick the currants for me." So I would go way out back to the currant bush and pick the currants... and viola! The next morning there would be a fresh batch of currant jelly made. She made everything look easy.

I never saw her lose her temper and I never heard her complain. She was a wonderful woman and grampa was lucky to have her.

When grampa died, grandma just went away and I never saw her again. I asked my mother about her, and could never get her address to even write to her. I will never know if she wrote to me.... now I suspect she did...

Flashing from 1952 to 2009, I was sitting with an Aunt in Niagara Falls, who was kind enough to give me some old family photos. She casually mentioned that some photos of me had been in "Lil's things".... I knew my Aunts and Uncles went to Florida when Lil passed away, and took care of her estate... but I didn't think of it until I saw the old photos.

I suddenly realized that grandma didn't forget about me! I had gone all those years thinking that maybe I said or did the wrong thing and had offended her and that's why I didn't hear from her.... Now here was proof that she did care, and did think about me, because she kept those photos of me until the day she died.

I said, "Oh she didn't forget about me. I always felt bad that I never heard from her after grampa died and she moved to Florida."

My Aunt looked at me with surprise and said, "Oh, that wouldn't be proper, a relationship between and old lady, and a young girl..."

I looked at her in shock and said, "But she was my grandmother!"

Then my Aunt looked at me, all of a sudden understanding.... that the woman who was just my "grampa's wife Lil", and someone the family only tolerated because they had to, had connected with someone in the family in a meaningful way. "Lil" may have been looked down upon by all of them, but she was looked up to by me.

She had a lot of beauty, value and depth as a person and I am glad I had her in my life. My only regret is that I did not talk to anyone in my family about grandma until now. I know my Aunt would have given me my grandma's address, and I would have loved for grandma to know that I did care about her, after all she did for me.

So all of you people out there who have parents who are remarried, and you don't like who they are married to, tough! .... Your children just might benefit by learning to respect a grandparent, despite blood ties.

Don't give your children a "grandma" or "grampa" and then think you can erase them from their hearts when it's convenient for you. When a grandparent takes an interest in your children, it's a gift. Treat that gift and that family member with respect.

Is there such a thing as a "step-grandmother"? Only if she doesn't want to give the gift of her time and love...

Goodbye for now from that Wild Old Lady in Florida who still loves her "Step-Grandmother" and calls her "grandma"! hah...

Obama Gets Nobel Peace Prize .... For Giving the World Hope

2009-10-10T12:04:00.003-04:00

All the moaning, groaning, and rants by "commentators" about this great news is exactly why I don't watch the "News" any more!

You would think a disaster had happened... like a nuclear holocaust, or (worse yet) all the grandmothers in the world had been forced to run a marathon naked! Give me a break!

First of all, please know that wagging tongues, as well as idle hands, are the devil's workshop...

We have hundreds of TV channels all competing for attention, so even the fart of a New Jersey back-woods cow can merit a ten minute rant by Glen Beck - or other similar "Holy Rightousness" advocates. Good God, how dare the Nobel Peace Prize be awarded to a sitting President of the United States. The nerve!

Without manufacturing "news" or voraciously inventing "opinions", based on "skewed" facts, 95 percent of these "gassbags" would be earning an honest living, or standing in an unemployment line.

But any empty-headed idiot sitting in front of a TV camera is suddenly an intellectual giant, completely qualified to assess if the Nobel Prize was "earned" by Pres. Obama. (What constructive thing have you tried to do for the world, Bucky?)

It would be a joke if it weren't for the millions of people who tune these programs in so they can fill the vacuum in their minds with something.

I admit that years ago I used to listen to Rush Limbaugh.... I even thought he was talking for me, fighting for me.... Hah... As time passed by, I caught "skewed facts" here and there.

After checking the facts supporting the content of Rush's tirades, I began to listen to the tone of his delivery. I heard arrogance in his tone, and wondered why I ever fed my mind with such toxic content. I found his program to be a carefully scripted delivery of divisive rhetoric.

Opinions can stated reasonably and with respect, but that just doesn't "make for good T.V". Sadly, the style which brought him success is now imitated widely by other "news commentators".

The tearing apart of Americans that is done by "commentators" will only stop when we start tuning them out.

So get smart, America.... stop feeding into the frenzy of the "commentators", and turn them off!

Back to Pres. Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize.... I think anyone who can give the world a little hope with intellectual calm in this climate of fools, certainly deserves it!

I decided a long time ago I would not interject political opinions into my light-hearted, funny blog. This is not a political opinion, it's just a cry of "OK, enough already!"

Remember this one thing about your brain.... "garbage in - garbage out"....

"Hate In = Hate Out" also applies!

Please stop listening to hate and foolishness.

So lots of love to you, whatever your political leanings are, I can respect and listen to you.

This Wild Old Lady is now going to paint a picture!

The Biggest Loser... Last Chance Workout!

2009-10-07T19:28:00.002-04:00

Have you ever watched the workouts the trainers on "The Biggest Loser" put old, unhealthy, obese people through? It almost puts me in a state of cardiac arrest when I see people who weigh 100 pounds more than me... being forced to run on a treadmill at 8 mph.

When I'm in good shape, I can do 2 mph on a treadmill, and my sweatband glistens on my forehead in a most attractive way (I think). I have determined that 2mph is the perfect speed because it does not cause my breasts to jiggle up and down at a rate which will cause them to hang any lower when I am done with the "workout".

I also don't like my bottom to rotate too quickly, as that causes the material from my shorts to be "swallowed up" by my "back" crack. It doesn't take too much time for my shorts to develop the death grip of a python during such an obscenely vigorous workout. Not for me....

I have watched women running on the treadmill on "The Biggest Loser" at such an unreasonable rate that even my 52" TV had a problem containing all the fat flying in different directions.

And then there's the "throwup".... oh yuk... The only reasonable scenario for vomiting is when a person is sick. You never, never exercise to the point of vomit, then go back to the treadmill for more. Jillian loves it when the fatsos vomit. (She has the temperament of the Marquis De Sade, you know.) It's terrible and fascinating to watch.... and I do watch it.

So back to my comfortable little nest here, where nobody pushes me. ("Just try, Buck-o!") I have been reading Dr. Phil's book on "The Seven Steps To Weight Loss", and am doing very well, thank you.... Hah....

My biggest problem has been eating 1200 calories a day, because the infusion of 2 fruits and 3 veggies daily makes me feel full. (My goal is 1200 to 1600) Dr. Phil is right... if you follow his instructions, you won't feel hungry.

The only problem is that the book is not a "quick read"... You have to really study it until you "get it". (Maybe it's just me.)

So as I sit in the comfort of my Florida home, with my Dr. Phil book, I am thankful I don't have to be at the mercy of trainers Jillian and Bob!

So if you are overweight, and want to scare yourself "thin", watch "The Biggest Loser" some night....

You can be sure that Wild Old Lady in Florida is watching too, and enjoying a bowl of strawberries!

Love to you all, thin or fat, from me....!

Did I Just Tell My Friend She's Going To Die Before Me?

2009-09-23T21:00:00.002-04:00

Oh no,... Not again! Me and my big, helpful mouth....

By now you know that when I make a mistake, it's a big one. Then, instead of finding a graceful way to exit the situation, I keep opening my mouth and make it worse.

Imagine rushing to your grandmother's house, which is on fire, and accidentally throwing kerosine on it... Yes, that's me..

Picture me in Niagara Falls visiting with two of my oldest, dearest friends, who I will call "Janet" and "Nancy"..... Well, Janet has decided to get rid of the things that have accumulated in her house, garage, cellar, and attic for years. Janet is a very healthy and active person, mentally sharp and as neat as a pin, whereas I am quite overweight and ditto for the rest.

Someone mentioned what would happen to all of Janet's excess stuff if she died before having a chance to get rid of it...

Well, obese me, 68 years old and with a "real age" score of about 102, volunteered happily... "Oh, you could leave everything to me, and I could put it all on Ebay, and we could give the money to an animal shelter..."

As I was talking, I noticed a pall fall over Janet's face... I know what she was thinking... ("You think I'm going to die before you, Fat Cheeks?")

Now, Janet has known me for many years, after a moment she realized that I was having one of my famous "brain farts", and she began to smile, enjoying the moment.

Of course I rambled on, but it was nice to be with people who didn't put my dumb comments down to "old age" like my kids do. At times I come up with brilliant ideas, (Yes, I do!) so my "odd moments" make even me think I am some sort of undiagnosed Savant..

The good outcome was that I also told Janet that all of the charities now sell items on the internet, so if she left her estate to her favorite one, it would be their problem to sort it all out, plus they would be grateful for the donation. I think this took some of the worry out of the process for Janet. Hey, that's what friends are for!

So, in case you are an only child with no heirs, don't waste your time worrying about your accumulations. Make sure you have a will in place, and someone else can have all the fun of "sorting" your stuff when you're gone! Go on a cruise instead and learn how to Rock Climb!

Hah! Love to all from this Wild Old Lady stuck in Florida, who still misses her old friends!

McGrath - McGraw - A few notes

2009-09-04T07:30:00.004-04:00

Instead of my usual blog attempting to be humorous... here is a little trivia for all the McGrath/McGraw's out there. First, I am told by people from Ireland that McGrath is pronounced "McGraw" in Ireland....

So, Dr. Phil must be my cousin... hah... Yes, I have always told people "how it is", so even without the "name", therefore I claim "cousinship".... (I am sure worse things have happened to Dr. Phil than this Wild Old Lady dangling from his family tree!)

Genealogists have traced all McGrath/McGraw's back to five tribes in Ireland and have confirmed that four of the five are genetically related.... hah..

The clan/tribe was founded by a man named "Raith", and the sons of "Raith" were names "McRaith" which "Darwinized" over the years to "McGrath". The McGraths were defenders of the O'Brien clan, and also were artists and poets....

When I think about this "Raith" ancestor, I also think about the root of the word "wrath".... (Did "wrath" come from "Raith"?)

This is why I think that might be true.... Most of the McGrath's I know are slow to anger.... but if terribly mistreated, a trait I call "The Wrath of McGrath" comes to the forefront... hah... The object of this wrath is then usually subjected to a dressing down that is usually more effective than any physical smite is. (Sound a little "Dr. Phill-ish"?)

So for you of the McGrath/McGraw Clan... I would be interested in your comments/feedback. You can send me a private e-mail through the e-mail link on my profile, or post on this blog.

Love to you all, as we all are related anyway... from that Wild Old Lady, who will return to Florida soon!

Corky's Ambidextrous Snore.... Kkkkksssshhhhh!

2009-09-01T14:16:00.002-04:00

I know you've heard stories about people who snore.... Big deal, right? .. hah!

But, My Corky is a true "legend" in the Snoring Department....

You don't have to be in the same room to be kept awake, you only have to be in the same house!

And if you rent a double-wide trailer for the winter, being in the double wide next to my snoring Corky will give you insomnia... hah!

We have worked out a plan, though....

1. I go to bed 30 minutes ahead of Corky, and take a 10 mg Ambien.

2. Corky faces away from me...
(We apply this logic....If you are in front of a person blowing a trumpet, it's much worse than being behind them.... Nose... Trumpet... See?)

3. Since Corky can only lie on one side, when we get a motel room, we make sure his face (with "horn" attached), faces away from me.

This formula works for us, and we have travelled together successfully for 24 years.... Until today...

After visiting friends, we returned to the Fairfield for our "Senior Citizen Nap Time". Corky reminded me to get into the right bed, so he would face away, and not keep me awake with his snoring.... (What a Guy!)

But something strange happened! I woke up during "Buy Me" to the full-force honking sound of a snore! I looked over and saw Corky sleeping on his "wrong" side... facing me, and snoring at "full tilt"!

I felt proud like a mother... ("Corky can sleep on his left side! Looky, looky!) yet horrified like a new bride.... ("Oh, oh, what am I going to do with this newly discovered monster!")

When Corky woke, I told him... "You can sleep on your left side, after all!" He smiled proudly, unaware of the problem this new "Ambidextrious Snoring" might cause.... hah...

Well, we have worked out worse problems, and I am kind of proud of the old coot for having discovered his left side as a "landing pad".... How many other 72 year old men develop a new skill? hah...

So "happy sleeping" to everyone from that Wild Old Lady, who signs off "Sleepless In Buffalo"...!

Finding A Motel On A Foggy Night! ..."Almost Psycho!"

2009-08-31T18:43:00.003-04:00

Comfortably housed tonight in a "Marriott Fairfield Inn" (with indoor swimming pool !!!) I think back to the night my Corky and I had the "Foggy Night Motel" experience!

Many years ago, we were on a route in Northern New York State (I leave the route anonymous to avoid being sued!), on a night that began with the whisper of fog....

Within an hour we were hopelessly engulfed in a thick "pea soup fog" that made it difficult to see the hood of our car.... Although my dear Corky usually drives bravely through almost any conditions (being impervious to my screams), even he agreed that we should stop at a motel for the night.

"Watch for a motel..." he grunted, thinking I had special optical powers that could permeate the thick mist... hah...

In the night and mist I spotted a flashing neon sign.... so we pulled over. Oh, joy... we were between two buildings with signs.... One said "Beer" and one said "Motel".... (And though I had not had a drink since 1980, I actually considered the "Beer" sign for a moment...sorry)

We went into a room with decor from the period of "Bonnie and Clyde"... (I could picture a trio of Depression-Era bank robbers splitting the loot on that very "sway-backed" bed....hah..)

Trying to not touch anything with my bare skin, I laid on the bed, waiting for dawn. My Corky thought it was fine, compared with his time in a tent as a peace-time soldier in Germany, so he slept like an angel with a clear conscience. (Darn...I admired him!)

In the morning, after a brief sleep, I awoke to the sun streaming across my face.... Sun? I shut the drapes last night! What?

I then looked up and saw the source.... a row of bare windows were cut into the top of the door... Huh? Very decorative!

How far were the windows from the floor? About 5'6"... So any person 5'10" or over could easily look in the room through those "uncurtained" motel windows. It was the strangest motel amenity I have ever seen, and it made me grateful that Corky and I had been so tired the night before!

So as I sit tonight in the wonderful Marriott - Fairfield Hotel, writing my blog on their computer, I am thrilled at my good fortune! (The only "window" in our door is a peephole!...)

So goodnight from that Wild Old Lady... who must return to Florida... and I hope you all have good fortune too!

Riding The Rails With The Amtrak Auto Train...."Woosh-Bang!"

2009-08-31T13:46:00.002-04:00

Or... "Don't Ever Ride Coach All Night When You're Old"!

Taking the Auto Train sounded like a good idea at the time... We opted not to go by sleeper car because our "friends" said the sleeper was uncomfortable and the coach seats go down to a "fully reclined position". (Oh yeah? Thanks, guys!)

We didn't know that riding the rails in 2009 could be the equivalent of riding a bucking bronco, with the difference being you couldn't get off for seventeen hours!

Backwards, to boot.... Yes, we rode backwards, so instead of ambient speed pinning you to the back of the seat during forward movement, you had to fight to relax back into your seat. Hah....

That mishap occurred because I originally asked for first level seats because my Corky is handicapped.... So they booked us on the second level.... (Want to carry a stiff 6'4" man up to the second level, Bunky?) The only seats left on the first level were backward seats....

So how comfortable are the "coach" seats? Well... there was no armrest in the center of each pair of seats... so... it's a good thing Corky and I know each other well... because we rode thigh pressed to thigh all the way from Sanford, Florida to Lorton, Virginia.... (Backwards)

So these backward seats were facing a door that led to three bathrooms... and that door opened with a large "woosh" then closed with a "bang".... So when someone left the compartment there was a "woosh - bang!" when they opened the door, and a "woosh - bang!" when the door closed.... There were six other couples in our compartment who toddled back and forth to the bathroom all night...

Now you have to understand that we all must have looked like thieves who were going to grab their belongings (and jump out of the window, maybe?), so every couple went to the bathrooms singly...

First the husband went.... "woosh - bang!" (door open), "woosh-bang!" (door closed)... then when hubbie returned to the car "woosh - bang! (door open), "woosh-bang!" (door closed) Oh, then went "wifie"..... My estimate is the door opened and closed at least 80 times all night.

The good news is it didn't keep us awake... The 12 degree "recline" of the lounge chairs did not accomodate sleep, especially in the "backward" travel position... However, due to poor circulation, and the constant shaking of the train which rushed our blood dowwards, we both had feet that looked like watermelons in the morning.

Thanks to two hydrocodine, a will strong enough to keep me from jumping off the train, and my own quiet hysteria which kept me amused, I made it through the night....

And, the last 10 minutes, before the train pulled into Lorton, VA, the tracks were as smooth as silk, taunting me!

Is this wild old lady ever taking the Auto Train again....? "Woosh - Bang...No!"

Hah... love from me, in Buffalo now!

Shuffling Off To Buffalo!

2009-08-24T17:19:00.002-04:00

This blog will be bare for awhile as we will be on the road, and I don't know if I will have access to a computer. To the burglars... our house is being watched on all sides by three neighbors... known as "Annie Oakley" Lisa, "Shotgun" Gary, and "Crazy" George. Don't test them, the nicknames are accurate. We don't have anything, anyway...except for my "fat clothes", and I'm taking the good ones with me! hah...

"See" you when we get back! Love from that wild old lady who has temporarily "escaped" from Florida!

Forgetting About the Stupid Things I've Done - That I KNOW about!

2009-08-22T18:04:00.003-04:00

I have decided it's time to erase all memories of the stupid things I have done in my life that did not "turn out well". I am certainly not aware of all my mistakes... but, oh well... if I can't remember, it didn't happen! Hah...!

Hopefully someone is reading this who will also realize that making a fool of one's self is a great part of life. Pity the people who haven't had these inglorious experiences!

Like the night that I discovered I could Yodel! Oh, what joy to sing every song, and then yodel all the choruses! It was fun, at least for me. I know that some of the people in that establishment were cheering me on... I don't think that bar in North Tonawanda had television, so I guess I was the "entertainment" for my 20 minutes of "yodeling"... (I am so glad this epiphany did not happen to me closer to home..!)

You might think I had too much to drink that night... hah.. no ... It was just a boring night, the right song played on the jukebox ... and from the depths of my part-German heritage, the ghost of a musical Frau came forth and "channeled" through me. Seriously, I think that's what really happened...

I was always known as someone you could count on when you wanted to have fun... Oh, not "fun" in the Playboy Playmate sense (yuk), but "fun" in the "Lucille Ball" sense.

There is always risk in "letting yourself go" to have fun! "Oh... what will people think of me?".. "Oh... will I look awful doing that?" "Oh, oh, oh..." Then the next thing you know is your life is over with and you haven't had any fun along the way!

Now here's a "Great Revelation"!... Not every stupid thing you do turns out to be stupid. I have had enough experience to tell you that 50% of all joyous, well-intentioned "faux pas" turn out to be a treasured memory that you and your friends will cherish forever!

Like that time I was a USO "Chaperone", and had the Air Force Boys each sit next to a girl on the bus to "protect" them.... The girls talked and giggled about that forever! (Yes, I was a "chaperone".... The local USO was "hard up" for volunteers!)

So there is it... today I have vowed that the stupid things I have done go in two categories.... The ones that "worked out" are "fond memories", and the rest no longer exist!

So have some fun tonight, and make sweet memories for someone....

Bye from that wild old lady in the swamps of Florida!

Corky's Trepidatus Relationship With The Toilet Plunger

2009-08-22T08:45:00.003-04:00

This "toilet talk" could not be avoided any more! This morning I again heard "My Corky" in the bathroom, fan running, plunging the toilet.... Not a problem in most households, but an onimous sign when done daily by the ever-stoic Corky.

When Corky has a physical problem, he considers it a "personal weakness" to share it with anyone. He also feels that if it doesn't stop him from breathing, it's not important... I think of him as my very own "Gomer-Pyle" styled survivalist. Amusing, but admirable... all at once.

He won't ask for help with an eye irritation until it turns into an infection that is so bad, blindness is possible.

A blood clot in the lung was only serious when he couldn't climb the stairs to watch his favorite sit-com.

My Corky is of hearty "stock", probably a genetic half-Neanderthal, half-Homo-Sapien "throw back".

Anyway, getting back to the plunger... I think Corky's bathroom problem stems from the 2 cups of Grape Nuts he eats every morning. I am used to listening to the sound of Corky "chewing gravel", and am starting to fantasize it's just the sound of waves crashing on a distant shore.

But I am worried about our house having to be ripped up off it's foundation to replace the bathroom sewer pipes because they have become "cemented shut" with processed Grape Nuts.

And this fear all comes down to Corky's Trepidation to Really Use the plunger as the aggressive tool it really is!

(Yes, I have seen Corky "plunge", and it's not a pretty sight!)

First, he holds the plunger gingerly, between his thumb and index finger, as though he was holding a baby's delicate hand. Then he places the rubber part of the plunger in the toilet bottom and performs quick little motions that generate less suction than a five-year old drinking out of a straw. It's maddening to watch.

Years ago I became so frustrated with his futile efforts, that... messy toilet and all... I took the plunger from him and said "Here's how it's done!" I proudly plunged that toilet like it had never been done before! The house almost rocked off it's foundation. I swear, we had to tighten the bolts holding the toilet to the floor afterwards! But...!!!! We never had a problem with that toilet again!

(Cheers, cheers! Picture a Superwoman outfit on the fat lady swinging the now-tattered plunger in the air!)

Well, despite my vigorous demonstration, Corky not only continued his wimpy plunging habits.... He now "plunges" the toilet with the bathroom door closed! He always emerges with a sly smile that says "See, I can do it myself!" Never mind that this bathroom is now on borrowed time and I see a bulldozer in it's future... hah.. But those are the situations that arise when two opposites marry, and in Florida, the old people will tell you ... "If you want to survive, don't fight it... laugh at it...because in the end, it doesn't matter!"

Well, fun is where you find it.... and with My Corky, fun is found every day!

I hope you all have love and laughs, from that wild old lady in Florida! :)

PROJECT RUNWAY is back! Horay

2009-08-21T09:15:00.002-04:00

Last night I was in "Reality TV Heaven"...! Project Runway has returned after one whole year in exile!

There was "my mentor", Tim Gunn ... walking the designers through their fears and tears... Oh, how I had missed his "fatherly" influence in my life! (You heard right, I am older, fatter and "straighter", but I feel like he is a father figure for me... yes! - Love him!)

Beautiful Heidi was still disarmingly intelligent, and tough ... "You're Out!".... it actually doesn't sound so bad coming from her...

The competition between the "star" designers from previous seasons was amazing to watch. It was satisfying to know that they have all been successful since their premier appearances....

I was cheering for "Sweet Pea", a favorite of mine... Besides talent, she seems to be the epitomy of sweetness... so refreshing! Gosh I wish she was designing her feminine clothes for larger women like me! Come on, "Sweet Pea".... take another yard off that bolt of cloth!

So today I am basking in joy, replaying parts of the program in my mind.... Yes, a little crazy... but that's me!

So bye for now and love from that wild old lady in Florida, who's extra happy today! :)

Racism - What My Grandmother Taught Me In 1951

2009-08-19T10:29:00.003-04:00

My Grandparents lived in the country next to a black woman, Mrs. Jackson and her children. (Back then, we said "colored.) Since I visited for a few weeks with my grandparents every summer, I had the chance to get to know Mrs. Jackson's daughter, Janet.

Janet Jackson was fun and pleasant... easy to get along with, and we enjoyed hours of play after her chores were done. Janet worked every day, either helping her mother with chores, or helping her brother in the field. I often watched, anxious for Janet to complete her work so we could play....

The summer of 1951, being ten ... I was allowed to venture further and I became acquainted with other little girls a few houses away. It was great fun, as I instigated the girls to clean out an unused chicken coop, set it up as a "club-house", and we even put on a "variety show" for the people in town. During this fun period I became "accepted"... and then the girls told me that I shouldn't play with Janet anymore because she was "colored".

To my mind this was probably something important that I just didn't "get", but I had better listen to these girls! So the next day, when I was sitting outside my grandparent's house, Janet came over with her big smile.

I could hardly make eye contact with her, and I said.. "I can't play with you any more." She asked, "Why?" ... and I said, "Because you're colored..." (and I thought this was an explanation she would understand, and that it made sense somewhere out of my little universe...)

Well, Mrs. Jackson called my Gramma, and my Gramma talked to me. I was thrilled to understand that I could play with Janet, but felt horrible about my mistake...

We went to the Jackson house, hand in hand, and I apologized to Janet and her mother. After that, Janet and I resumed our "play", but I always hoped she really understood how I got pulled into that inane act of stupidity.

Grampa died the following year, and I never saw Janet again. I hope she has had a good life.

Sorry for the serious note... but this wild old lady in Florida has her reflective side too!

Love to everyone, and don't hurt each other! It never makes sense! :)

Roberta's "Fire Drill Adventure" On Holland America's Zweiderdam Cruise Ship!

2009-08-18T08:40:00.005-04:00

Last December my Corky and I had our first cruise on the "five star" Holland America "Zweiderdam" Ship... Wow!

Though traveling with almost 2,000 other "cruisers",... I alone experienced a "fire drill adventure" in the middle of the night! This is because I memorized the "Fire Drill" instructions and stored them in that small section of my brain that I keep uncluttered.

During the middle of our first night, the fire alarm was sounded! Oh my God, don't wake up the sharks, they like to feed at night! There was NO follow-up announcement to say "This is just a drill."

So I got out of bed, put on my giant plaid bathrobe, because the Holland America robes don't come in 2X, grabbed my life jacket, then tried to rouse my Corky.

Ever wise and non-plussed on oxycodone for his chronic back pain, he said, "It's just a drill!"... and rolled over.

Well, I stood there for two seconds, trying to decide if I wanted to sacrifice my life because of his bad judgement and I "won"....

I walked through deserted corridors, then struggled down seven flights of stairs with a bad knee! But I did arrive at the appropriate life boat station! (The croud roars!)

Since there was nobody there to lower the lifeboats into the water, I stood there trying to figure out how to do it myself. Was everyone deaf?!

Finally, thank God, a handsome blonde officer in a highly decorated white uniform came around the corner, and I thought "I'm Saved!" (I also thought... "How Casablanca this moment is!"...)

I smiled at him and said "I heard the alarm!"

This was the first time in years that I had been alone with a handsome young man and there I was with "bed-head", my dental plates soaking in foamy cleaner in my "stateroom", with perspiration "pits" evident on my plaid bathrobe, and halitosis was beginning to bloom in my half-empty mouth. Not a pretty picture.

Just then, the Public Address System squealed and the Captain's voice announced "This is just a drill." The hunky officer and I looked at each other for an awkward moment.

I said.... "What? I just climbed down seven flights of stairs!"

He then patted me on the top of the head and said "You're a good girl...." (I think he knew how to handle dogs, and put me in that category! hah.)

Anyway, I resisted the urge to jump up on him and lick his face, and went to the elevator for my lone trip back to the stateroom.

Corky was asleep, so I put my life-jacket in the closet and joined him... anticipating what the next day would bring!

So, if you are planning to go on a cruise and are "size-challenged" ... bring your own attractive bathrobe along. You never know when it might come in handy!

So "Ship Ahoy, Maties", from that wild old lady who wonders how she ended up in Florida! :)

Meet "My Corky"

2009-08-17T20:14:00.007-04:00

You've heard about "My Corky", well, here he is...

sitting on the veranda outside our cruise "state-room"... Notice that this is a man prepared for anything... The eyeglass case clipped to his shirt pocket, and the pen, of course! He refuses to wear a shirt that doesn't have what I call a "Nerd Pocket"!

Ask if you can "borrow" his pen, and his eyes get a look of panic in them. Hah... Sometimes I ask him if I can borrow his pen just for the entertainment value of it! (Bad girl, bad girl!...)

Last, but not least, here is my Corky's favorite activity (Watching T.V. while sleeping.) performed in a motel room... hah... His 6'4" frame doesn't fit too well on average chairs, but here is a man who knows how to "make do".... Yes, I know... he married me.. ha, ha... but he always says that is the "smartest" thing he has ever done.

Now pretend that you did not read my blogs about him, i.e. "The Pineapple Caper", "Corky's Big Fat Can of Tuna Fish", and "The Heimlich Maneuver"!

Well, you have met the love and "Living Amusement Park" of my life... My Corky...

So, it's time to buzz the head of my adjustable bed up so I can watch our bedroom t.v. without seeing at my toes protrude into Jon Stewart's chin. Hah!...

"Nighty-Night" and "heads up" from that wild old lady in Florida! :)

From Niagara Falls, New York - The "Story-Keepers" Of My Life

2009-08-16T08:10:00.006-04:00

We who are fortunate still have the "story keepers" of our life! They are friends and relatives who were "there" in our youth, and they remember who we really were.

It's a comfort to talk to an old friend or relative who remembers the Thanksgiving when Uncle Fred did the Charleston wearing a lampshade and Aunt Wilma was so mad that she threw fistfuls of mashed potatoes at him!

"Oh!" we think, (Relieved that we didn't imagine it...) "Yes, that did happen!" Now you know why you have an adversion to mashed potatoes! (Another piece of the puzzle that is "you" is solved!)

Recently, an old friend from Niagara Falls called me because I mailed to her an old letter that I found while cleaning my "archives". This 40+ year old letter was written by her at a crucial and low point in both of our lives.

She said, "I had forgotten how poor I was!"... No coffee or cigarettes for five days... etc.. We went on to have a nice recollection of the "good and bad" old days, feeling fortunate and snug sitting in our "paid up" homes, with social security checks coming in, and little nest-eggs for discretionary spending.

I remember well when Nancy and I were young and poor .... her parents had passed away, and mine were disinterested/crazy, so we were on our own at 18 years old! We got our first apartment together, and made a good odd couple... my creative zanniness and her calm common sense made life fun.

Back in the fifties, Niagara Falls, New York was the place to be for single girls. Nearby, we had an Air Force Base, Army Base and then along came the giagantic "Power Project", which imported even more men! (We won't talk about the sixties when the men left!)

Even if a girl had the face of Charles Laughton, the figure of "Mr. Ed", and the personality of "The Pilsbury Dough-Boy" (Hooh-hooh!), she could still find a husband! Therefore, I dated in a manner that I refer to as "heavily".... (Who wouldn't!??)

Nancy was more restrained, but I do recall her receiving a phone call from a man who was home "on military leave", who said... "Oh, Nancy, you remember me! I'm in the service!" Nancy, ever practical, deadpanned seriously - "Which branch?" and for some reason he hung up!

Somehow we survived our stupidity, and the fact that we are still alive is proof that there is a God!

Now can't any of you identify with an 18 year old experiencing freedom for the first time?

I am grateful I had a good friend with me who had more common sense in her little finger than I have even now.... It's inevitable that today we are each other's " "Story-Keepers" for that fragile period in our lives!

Here in Florida I have entertained people with stories about my "past life". The not-so discreet side-glances and whispered comments of disbelief which greet my "historical gems" dissappoint me. (Do these people think I am stupid, blind, and deaf?) These people don't know me and never will now.

I finally "got it" that a lot of people "re-invent" themselves down here, so no-one believes what anyone else says unless they can provide proof. (Frauds! ...hah)

So be sure to thank God for all the "Story Keepers" in your life... They help you when you are "down" by reminding you what an interesting life you led, and "No, it was not just a "dream"!

Life is good!

Bye for now from this wild old lady who was "displaced" to Florida, but still has her memories of fun and laughs about them!

Love and Hugs to you!.... :)

Why Lawyers Think We Are Idiots

2009-08-15T09:23:00.010-04:00

Lawyers think we are idiots because we let them get away with so much. The truth is they have sooo much power that what can we do if we feel they have not taken care of us properly? Sue them?

They have three goals during their relationship with you:

#1- To get your business,
#2- To take care of your business, with as little effort on their part as possible,
#3- Then to wrap up your business in a manner that leaves you thinking you won:

I call their methods:

"The Hook" -
"The Wait" - and
"The Fake Victory Celebration"

"The Hook".... You go to a lawyers office with a grievance and potential lawsuit. You want to assess his knowledge and skill, but you won't have a clue until it's all over.... (Nah, nah nah, nah, naaa!)

...Disclaimer: I opt to use the male gender for this example.... but, Yes, I know that women are also lawyers! We had one who failed us miserably! If she had reeked of urine in her office like she did in court, we wouldn't have hired her! Maybe she peed her pants because she knew how incompetant (Incontinent?) she was... but I thought everyone knew about "Depends".

Well, you sit there in your "Sunday Best", across from the legal "whiz", trying not to look like a guppie fish with it's mouth wide open, ready to gulp down the bait. While you describe your problem at this "free consultation", the lawyer makes notes on his yellow "legal pad".... (Hah! They even have a name for their tablet!)

Though he appears to be concentrating on our problem, I am aware at that moment that he is assessing my Corky and me.

I am acutely aware that we come across like a couple of "easy marks"... Between Corky's hardening of the arteries and my dyslexic/moron complex, we appear to be similar to, but not as intelligent as Frank and Marie Barrone in "Everyone Loves Raymond" ...

Participating in these consultations is like you know you are drowning, but hope the lifeguard #1 - Cares about you and #2 - is Competent.

But, even being aware of this, we always fall for the "Hook". The "Hook" is when the lawyer, this bastion of rightousness, leaps to his feet and begins loudly expounding on the merits of your complaint. His voice is strong and sure, and your feeling that you are in the "right" solidifies. Your confidence soars! Yes, you were wronged...! You deserve restitution! You need this avenger to lead the way!

You are "Hooked"!!!!

So your complaint turns into a case... pay the retainer and now comes the dreaded "Wait"....

"The Wait"

This part of the legal "process" is comparable to letting meat marinate. A piece of meat is selected after it was killed and butchered, ... mmmm Then spices and some nasty liquids are added, and it's sealed up and left to ferment until it's "ready".

Yes, that's what the lawyers do.... They marinate you, then let you just ferment! They tell you that you have to wait for this and that... blah, blah... but in reality they are probably just taking their wives to dinner, and practicing their golf putt with the set kept in their office closet. (It takes a few minutes to put it away... Ever wonder why you don't get into their office on time?)

I have never seen a lawyer with red eyes, from reading documents all night. I have never seen a lawyer wear a cheap suit, or express the confidence during "The Wait" that he expressed during "The Hook"....

But... during "The Wait" the lawyer will begin to express doubts about your case... Key phrases to worry about are "It's not a Slam-Dunk", "We aren't out of the woods yet", and "You can't hit a home run every time!"

Translation.... You're probably screwed, and in the most common athletic terms!

So during "The Wait" your confidence is shaken, and you keep on paying for paperwork and "research"...

Regarding "Research"... You hired them because they convinced you that they knew the law by heart and you had a "case". Now they have to do "research"? But what can you do at this point? Drop them and start over? Oh, you know you have to "wait"... The Wheels of Justice grind slowly (over your dead body).... Oh sure! Who makes the laws that makes this "slow grind" possible? .... Why, the "law-makers"! Doesn't that just make you feel giddy?

Ok, you've been "Marinated" during "The Wait", now on to "The Fake Victory Celebration"....

At the end of three years of stress, Corky and I had the dreaded "Fake Victory Celebration" in our lawyers office where we were talked into a settlement that equalled what we had spent on this lawyer.... I think Corky actually thought he "won", but I knew better. The lawyer easily put a good face on it... why not? The lawyer was the one who actually "won"....

We were hooked, marinated, barbequed, then actually partook in the celebration for it to end!

It happens every day, my friend, so pick your lawyer with care! There are some intelligent, honest ones with ethics out there!

But here's where I win! I enjoy every day without malice or cunning thoughts towards anyone.... Also, if I have an axe to "grind", I can write about it! hah ... It's such a light and easy load to carry.

So just know there is a wild old lady in Florida who laughs about "whatever" and has fun writing and creating art!

What a wonderful life, my friend!.... hah... :)

At The Hairdressers.. How To Make a Fool Out of Yourself... and it gets worse!

2009-08-14T10:51:00.006-04:00

Every day I find new conversational subjects that are better avoided... and I add them to my "list"....

At my hairdresser's I found yet another one... namely what bodily function is triggered at the moment of death...! (Details to follow...)

So that subject has now been added to the "delete" section of my conversational repertoire, along with...

The story of my husband's "viagra experience";

Any "political" opinions that don't agree with Glen Beck;

My agreement with 98% of the World's Scientists about global warming (a real "no-no" in Florida!);

And I never hint that any of us is going to die... Ever!

So in this land of eternal life, perfection, and denial, I just had to tread on the taboo subject of unwanted bodily functions... and by combining it with death, I really "asked for" the Tampa Bay Indian Voodo Curse to crash down upon my empty head!

How did this happen? Hah... A "take-over" by the idiot part of me, that irrepressable "Extrovert" who wants to be "part of the gang" and "participate" in group conversations!...

Add to that the moron part of my psyche that wants to impress strangers with the "font" of knowledge that is crammed in my cerebrum... (Why, what a shame to not share my rare intelligence with common folk!)

So there I sat at my hairdressers with a group of five 80 year old ladies who were having their hair done. While I sat, waiting for my "wash", they jovially talked about making/not making their bed in the morning, and their personal grooming habits. (I almost nodded off, and now regret not doing so.)

A nice group, they smiled at me, making me feel as though I were "included".... (A Mistake!... And as far as I am concerned, part of my disaster is their fault!)

RULE #1: Don't ever make an idiot feel welcome!

Then one of them began the fiasco by stating; "My mother always told me to be sure when leaving the house that I have clean underwear on, because you never know if you might get in an auto accident."

(Sweet, knowing smiles all around...)

There was a small gap in the conversation! Aha... I could jump in with a "pearl of wisdom"....

So I said, "Oh, it doesn't matter if your underpants are clean or not, because everyone _____'s their underpants when they die!"

I smiled my idiot smile but was stunned to see my hairdresser stop in "mid-tease" of white hair... the comb poised in mid-air as though she was considering throwing it at me....

Though my sharply honed intuition grasped that I might have said something wrong, and my "Repressed Personality" was struggling to stuff a rag in my mouth, and force me to crawl into a corner, my "Over-Inflated Ego" clung to control, determined to do damage control.... (Oh, I could "save" this situation... hah)

Into the silence I continued re-assuringly, trying to sound like a calm, reasonable, mentally well-balanced person (Sometimes this works!...)

"I was actually told this by the wife of a well-known funeral director in New York State." (There, everyone knows how smart people are in New York State!)

Well, whoops...!!! A lot of people in the south think the people from New York State are obnoxious "know-it-alls!" Go Figure! (Make a mental note... no more references to New York State...)

More Silence and Astonished Looks.... the comb was alarmingly still poised in the air and began to look like a cudgel.....

"Although this lady was very well-to-do," ... I continued to my audience of ladies who eked out a living on Social Security and part-time Walmart greeter jobs.... "she said that when she met someone who thought they were better than her, she pictured them in her husband's morturary, laying on a slab, with their pants messed!"

Still Silence, and the threatening appearance of narrowed eyelids.... (The looks in their eyes told me they were all imagining me laid out on a morturary slab, in New York State, with my stupid underpants messed.)

"And that image always made her feel better...." I finished, realizing that the hole I dug for myself extended all the way to New York State and I was teetering on the edge, big mouth open....

Luckily nobody was packing a gun, so my hairdresser grabbed me and vigorously washed my hair... the heretofore animated ladies lost interest in further conversation, and on my way out, I upped my tip from $5.00 to $10.00.... insuring I would be able to return to get my hair done again....

Oh, and Now my hairdresser always gives me a really great magazine to read as soon as I get in the door!

So.... making a fool out of myself wasn't a total loss! I now am privvy to the best magazines in Florida!

Keep smiling my love, and don't quit talking.... However bad you think you are.... someone else is worse! Happy Day!

Love from that wild old lady in Florida :)

Melissa d'Arabian Wins "The Next Food Network Star" Horay!

2009-08-10T09:30:00.004-04:00

I "cheered" for Melissa to win from the very beginning! Her sparkling "personality", bouncy "energy", and ability to "think on her feet" reminded me of myself when I was her age.

Except for the sparkling "personality", bouncy "energy", and the ability to "think on her feet", we could have been twins! Oh, and she has blonde hair (to my chestnut), doesn't look like she has an eating disorder, and actually is making a marriage work while raising children. - (It's sooo much easier to just do either one or the other!) I can only concentrate on so many things at once.... Ever hear of a "human implosion" ? Just watch me trying to please a child and a man at the same time.... hah! (Ironic that you have to have a man before you can have a child... eh?)

Anyway, I just love watching my "alter ego", Melissa - at "work". Seeing her hug her friends and cook economical meals reminds me of the economical meals I used to improvise with my friend Nancy.

Did you know that split pea soup can be enhanced by adding pepperoni slices? So classy and innovative! Of course, if you were broke like Nancy and I, you had to invite a male friend over the night before and ask that he bring a "double pepperoni" pizza with him. Then you would stage a "James Dean" seance... with candles, incense, moving tables and mumbo jumbo... and then during the "show" you would spirit a couple of pizza pieces into the fridge....

Viola! "Split Pea Soup - Ala'Italia" the next day!

Soooo I am sure you can see why I identify with Melissa!

My Corky looked this over and deadpanned ... "How do you think of these things..." I looked at him and decided not to tell him I write about things I actually did.... I replied (truthfully) "I have a good imagination"...

Well, I know you are in a rush to try my new recipe! Do you think I should "try out" to be the next "Food Network Star"? Maybe viewers could identify with a more mature, larger version of Melissa next season...!

It really is entertaining to watch me try to cook something that involves more than two ingredients. ("Where am I?") Between my arms bumping into my front while trying to "wisk" egg whites, and my whole body then going into a convulsive, unwanted "shimmy" I think viewers would learn something! It's time that Food Network Star injected some Physical Comedy into their shows!

So, please tell them about that wild old lady in Florida, who could "round out" their shows! Hah.... Keep smiling and "whipping" :)

Burger King Shoots Baby...

2009-08-08T14:22:00.004-04:00

Can you imagine my shock when I read that horrifying headline???

Well, the headline was really "Burger King Boots Baby" and the "story" was that a family was told to leave Burger King because their 6 month old baby was not wearing shoes... Ahhhh... What a relief...

But that little jolt is one I experience frequently because my mind often mixes up letters as I read them.

For some unknown reason, when my mind substitutes words or letters it almost always changes the meaning to an obscene one. Therefore I am often seen walking around with a shocked look on my face. My saving grace is that since I am old and fat, few people are looking at me!

In one recent case, it was not my mind scrambling letters. A sign near our home was advertising a type of lawnmower.... called the "Grasshopper". Well, I thought it said something obscene, but not wanting to plant evil or titilating thoughts in my husband's mind, I always ignored it when we passed by.

One day, as we approached the sign, my Corky (breaking his code of "silence") said, "There must have been some wind. That sign's bent!"....

So I really looked at the sign, and noticed that it was bent.... so that the "Gr" was not visible! I was elated! It wasn't me.... that sign actually did say "ASSHOPPER"!

Oh happy day! .... And for the rest of you who think it's all in your head... my story should give you hope!

Bye for now from that wild old lady in Florida... :)

Corky's Big Fat Can of Tuna Fish!

2009-08-07T11:57:00.004-04:00

I consider myself a connoisseur of tuna fish, and buy only the water-packed cans of white solid Albacore. (Oh, how classy and patrician can you get!)

One day, after listening to my preaching about the benefits of Omega 3, my Corky began to eat cans of tuna from of our cupboard while I was out at my art lessons.

Oh, how proud I was of him! I was also puffed up with myself that I had finally become a good influence on him! I had done the impossible! I had changed Corky one iota!!!

You see, my husband Corky is the most inflexible human on earth.... For Example: If you have an appointment with the Dr. tomorrow and are having a heart attack today, well you just don't go into the Dr. until tomorrow because that was your committment.... hah...

Oh, I was smug, in ecstasy (yes, my idea of "ecstasy"), and "riding high", but don't they say "Pride goeth before the Fall"?

Wanting to bask in my success, I went to his "Man Cave", sat in the "guest seat", smiled and asked, "How do you like the tuna?" (Oh, I just couldn't leave well-enough alone!)

Hardly looking up from his crossword, Corky commented, "There is a lot of tuna in those cans... I could hardly finish it...."

Puzzled, I left his room and tried to imagine what he meant. Those cans of tuna I buy only hold 5 oz. of tuna. I mean, we are talking about a man who used to eat 1/2 bag of Oreo "Double Stuff" cookies at one sitting.... consuming each cookie as one bite. Watching Corky eat cookies is like watching a frog eat flies.... the tongue shoots out, cookie gets stuck to it and "wooshhhh" there it goes, all in one piece, never to be seen again!

Eventually I looked in the garbage, the place where I solve most of the mysteries connected with my husband, who is a man of few words.

Aha! There I found it! .... An empty 13 oz. can of "Premium - Chicken Breast"! .... The idiot had been opening the cans of Chicken Breast I had in the cupboard, thinking they were Tuna Fish!

That was almost a pound of chicken for a snack on... no wonder he thought it was "a lot" to eat. Hah...!!!!!

Well, Corky had his One Big Fat Can of Tuna Fish, but it was of such high quality, it tasted like "Chicken"! Hah....!

I still feel smug... I think you can figure out why... So when you have a tuna sandwich, think of me, that wild old lady in Florida for whom every day is a lotta laughs!

Smile! It won't "get" better, it already "is" better.... you just have to see it!

Tribute to Norbert X. Dowd-Bangor Chamber of Commerce 1968

2009-07-30T07:20:00.004-04:00

In 1968 I, along with three friends, was breaking up with my boyfriend for the umpteenth time! After reading an article extolling the virtues of available men in Bangor, Maine, I shared this with my friends, and they all said "Let's go!" Hah....

Being a sensible person, I wrote to the Bangor Chamber of Commerce asking about the areas single male population, and opportunities for employment.... (I pictured myself as a secretary in a logging camp, jumping from one log to another to get home for lunch! Weeeeee!)

Here is the reply I received... so humorous, insightful, yet caring... that I kept it for 40 years now!

Dear Roberta:

Thank you for your intriguing and emotion filled letter of March 15th wherein you served as letter writer and thought expresser for three other lovely girls who are seeking greener pastures in which to search for a mate.

You also requested information on greener pastures for employment, but this seemed to be a by-product of your more interesting marital green pastures. On the employment situation, we believe that a person who has achieved experience and training in a given field, who sincerely wants to work and who would be loyal and dedicated to his work, will never be without work for any appreciable time. If you and your friends really meet the above qualifications then you might want to subscribe to the Bangor Daily News, 491 Main Street, for two weeks or a month to scan the employment situation indicated in the classified section. You might find some job opportunities to meet your desires.

However, do not give up your present job and come here to find employment. First, if you find something, write or call the prospective employer to set up an interview and to see whether or not you would like to become members of our fast growing Bangor Family. You would also want to consider the housing situation in Bangor before making a definite move.

Now regarding that "seeking-a-husband bit". We can't guarantee that you will find a heart throbbing male or males in these 'pastures' at any given time. True, we do have male men in this area who would make good husband material, but they might not meet what you girls have in mind for husbands. Do you think in adjective terms of tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, steady, rich, athletic - all rolled into one package? Or what are you thinking in terms of blue eyes, brown eyes, hazel eyes - upturned nose, ski nose, Roman nose or just plain flat nose? And what about temperament - even, mild, raucous, pleasing, fighting, jealous or what? And most important, are you thinking of love, infatuation or a stop gap in a period of frustration?

These are the questions our marital committee ask whenever four girls from Niagara Falls seek mates in our 'fertile green pastures'. And until we have the answers, we have no way to give freely of our advice.

So if you will fill us in on the above, we will then look around to see what percentage of young men here would fit into your plans.

But in the meantime, place your trust in Him who will guide you directly to that man with whom you will share your love and life forever and a day. He may be here in Bangor or he may be right near you in Niagara Falls. But He will have a hand in it, no matter and so I say to you lovely girls, talk to Him and ask Him to guide you and as sure as the water tumbles in might power over your wonder-of-the-world, He will find and direct that right young man to your waiting arms, your throbbing heart and your sacred love.

Very Sincerely,
Norbert X. Dowd ... Exec. Secretary - Bangor Chamber of Commerce

Long story short, I reunited with my boyfriend, my girlfriends turned out to be all "talk" and were "horrified" that I wrote to Bangor, and I continued to work as a secretary.

I often thought of the fresh air in Bangor, Maine... and that daring, compassionate Mr. Dowd who worked at the Chamber of Commerce.

Guess I should'a at least taken a vacation to Bangor! Hah.. With three friends in tow, of course... (Always think of safety!)

My friends... have a great day.... :)

Mystery Solved! .... Why Garage Sales Are Better up North!

2009-07-29T21:23:00.003-04:00

Now I know why garage/estate sales are sooo much better back in New York State!

It's because there are basements and attics to stash things in!

So you never get rid of Aunt Tillie's Old Harker-Ware Cameo Tea Service, because you think you will do "something" with it eventually. But the burden of that tea set plus the hundreds of other old things you have stashed away begins to wear on you.

Then the day comes when you want to sell your home, and retire to a gated community in Arizona! But you have ALL this stuff! ..... and nobody want's Aunt Tillie's tea set....

So your kids help you have a garage sale, and you become so exhausted by the time you sort through the 100th box, that you are ready to give everything away! (It doesn't help when the kids call it all junk!.... hah)

You find a good home for the Cameo Ware tea set, selling it for $5.00! (They take it home and sell it on Ebay for $150.00....)

You unload a huge set of colorful Riviera Ware for $7.00, sighing with relief! (After all, it's not "Fiesta Ware", for crying out loud!) Sold on Ebay for over $300.00.....

And that "Watt Pottery" with the apples painted on it... why, it's heavy pottery, not fine china! How about $1.00 each for those plates? (Boy, you are really good!) hah.... (Over $100.00 for one Watt Pottery Spaghetti plate!

Recently I talked with an old friend up north about the collectibles I used to sell .... I said... "I have made a lot of money buying and selling Bakelite jewelry. Make sure you hang on to your Mom's Bakelite sets, because they were so chunky and pretty." (Her Mom had exquisite taste!)

Janet replied "Oh, I donated that jewelry to my church for a sale because I thought it was "just plastic".... huhhhh????

After belatedly telling her how to test "plastic" with simichrome or "Formula 409" to see if it is plastic or Bakelite, my belief that New York State is indeed the place for collectors to "be" was reinforced! .... hah!

How did I learn so much about collectibles? With "trial and error", a great memory, a willingness to research on Ebay from 8:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m., a husband who was forced to retire early (so I had to make extra money), and an insatiable desire to learn...!

Oh, and don't forget about the "thrill of the "hunt"!

Hah, life can be so much fun! Just open up your eyes to the adventure of it all!

So if you live in an area where people have attics and basements, don't squander your opportunity to get out this weekend and go "Garage Sale-ing"!

Happy hunting, my friend! :)

Making the Water Safe for Dumb-Bells

2009-07-28T21:38:00.002-04:00

Three years ago I bought Aquatic-Foam Dumb-Bells to enhance my water "Aerobics".

Added to my routine of Water Pilates/Yoga and Moves I can't execute on dry land, they really worked my arms out, as I "pressed" them in and out of the water.

Then, one day my husband grabbed them and put one under each arm... and began to .... float... hah ... That was the end of my bicep press exercize! (And who wants to use them once they are encrusted with Ban Deodorant!... Oooosch, Yuk!)

Corky loves to find the easiest way to accomplish any given task. While I am frantically dog-paddling in circles, he prefers to "float".... , smiling vacantly at the yard in particular and nothing in general.

His thoughts are probably of a genius nature that I can't fathom. The effort spared by using my Dumb-Bells to keep him afloat must just be forcing his mind to calculate solutions for the world's problems at Quantum speed!

So, if Corky arrives at a solution for the ecomony, a cure for cancer, and can tell us if Mars is really habitable.... I can take my share of the credit!

I am so confident of this that tonight I bought another set of "floaties".... oops! I mean - Dumb-Bells!

So have a good night my dears, and love to all from that wild old lady in Florida! :)

Is The Brooklyn Bridge Still For Sale?

2009-07-27T19:02:00.002-04:00

If the Brooklyn Bridge is still for sale, please don't advertise it on Television!

My husband sits in front of the T.V. every day in his Electric Lift Chair, watching "Informative Commercials" ... credit card in hand! All of a sudden he is enthralled by demonstrations of mechanical wonders like the "Swivel Sweeper". (We now own three, and have given two as Christmas gifts.)

When I had a phone installed next to his chair, I thought it might come in handy if he ever wanted to call "911". Who thought he would ever develop the mental agility required to write down 11-digit phone numbers? (Now I believe chimps can be taught how to do anything.)

A few years ago he tried ordering items, using the automated systems you reach when calling the 1-800 numbers. Fortunately for our bank account, his fingers were too big to press the proper numbers quickly when prompted to, so his ordering attempts fell flat.

Then some marketing guru figured out that using voice recognition would be a good way to take orders over the phone. Well, my Corky can talk, so is he in luck now!

When I hear his muffled voice barking out commands from the direction of his "man cave", I know he's ordering something again. This time, it's a "wand" that turns the water pressure from your hose into that of a "pressure washer". (Did I mention we have a pressure washer in our garage?)

Well, until I hear him barking out such selections as "blonde", "good looking", and "replacement", I am not going to complain. Hah....

After all... the Brooklyn Bridge is not for sale yet, and a man has to have a hobby!

Keep laughing friends!.... :)

"Pooh-Bear" Williams and My Daughter Becky

2009-07-25T11:38:00.004-04:00

By the time my pretty blonde daughter was 20, she had several years experience working in nursing homes. With her nurturing nature, we thought she was going to go on to become a nurse.

(So handy to have a nurse for a daughter, when you are getting old!.. hah)

Well, one day Rebecca decided she was going to sell cars instead. There was an opening at a car dealership, so my size 2 blonde marched all of her 120 pounds in to interview with a seasoned "I've seen it all" prospective boss.

Though inexperienced, she was armed with an intense desire to sell cars, and was hired "conditionally"...

She did well because she was smart and worked hard. I often went in and saw the older pot-bellied salesmen chatting with each other while Becky was in her cubicle, making phone calls to prospects... "A car just came in that I think is just what you were looking for...." (Now don't you envy her boss?)

Long story short, she was "Sales Person of the Month" more than once and became a Finance Manager too...

However, here is a funny little story about this accomplished rookie!

We lived in Orchard Park, New York, two miles from the Buffalo Bills Football Stadium. It was commonplace to see well-known football players, Coach Levy & his wife, and Mr. Butler at local hang-outs.

One day my daughter took a financial application from a 300 lb. plus black gentleman... He gave her all his info in a quiet genteel manner... Place of Employment... "Buffalo Bills" Weekly Pay.... (I don't remember, but say $3,000.00 a week) ....

All of a sudden, during the process, a lightbulb went off in my pretty blonde daughters head... she looked up at him, opened her light blue eyes wide and said, "Oh, you work for the Buffalo Bills! What do you do?"

"I play football" he deadpanned back...

That, my friends, was "Pooh Bear Williams".... a big, mean running back, but a real sweet gentleman...

So.... all of you with "blonde" daughters... smile and know how lucky you are! :) Love to all...

Family Stories - Write Them Down! - Put them in a 3-ring binder!

2009-07-23T08:53:00.002-04:00

The nice thing about genealogy is that you get a glimpse into your past, and you do find out about family names and longevity. If you are lucky you will learn what diseases your ancestors did/didnot have.

Although all this can be useful, the "data" is the bone, but the "stories" are the meat, and sometimes even are the "succulent dessert", topping off the meal!

In my Gallinger book, my cousin Lily Worral (professional genealogist and teacher) had the appreciation of stories to include them wherever she encountered them. God bless Lily!!!

Especially interesting was the one about a short, feisty relative who's outbursts made her husband and father run and hide in the barn to avoid her wrath.

(Oh, I could picture the feistiness of my 5' tall mother there, who was very charming and companionable, but if her "ire" was raised, grown men would quake. Hah...)

Once I had a boyfriend who did not accept my breakup with him... he put sugar in my gas tank, slashed my car seats, etc. One "visit" from my angry mother and I never saw him again in town. (In her I could see the spirit of the ancestor who could make grown men run for their lives! hah....)

Don't assume your children are going to remember the family stories you tell them.... They probably aren't really listening. Few kids are fascinated with history, especially yours! Secretly they are probably hoping they won't even grow up to look like you!

But do take the time to write down the stories you know, and put them in a 3-ring binder! Label it "Family Stories", and be prepared for people to laugh at you!

(Hah... who cares? People probably laugh at you anyway.)

Right now I bet my girls don't remember that my Dad had six sisters, and they were wonderful, highly intelligent ladies who were sooo well respected for their refinement.

My Aunt Grace was loved by everyone... she worked for a lawyer in Niagara Falls, New York, and knew the law so thoroughly that she was often consulted by other lawyers. She also had her own insurance business on the side. She went to lunch at a little diner in the building she worked at... Hat, veil, gloves... the whole deal. One of the long-time waitresses there loved to wait on Aunt Grace because my aunt treated the waitress with the same respect that she would give to a judge. The waitress loved her and referred to her as "Gracious", rather than "Grace McGrath"....

Now, when people read in the family genealogy about Aunt Grace, the facts don't really relate who she really was. The little stories paint a heart-warming picture.

So please write your stories down... a little every day! You don't have to be "Ernest Hemmingway".... just be "you"... Someone else can correct your grammer and spelling in the future, but they don't know your stories!

Love to you all! :)

Mary Jane Brotherton-Neil - Civil War Widow

2009-07-22T22:06:00.002-04:00

Mary Jane Brotherton-Neil was my great, great grandmother and I appreciate the luxury in my life more now that I know a few facts about her life and how hard it must have been.

Born in 1824, she married William Neil, a New York State farmer, and according to one source they had ten children. Around the end of the Civil War her husband was forced to serve in the union army. His objection was having a wife with ten children and a crop in the field, leaving them would have been more dishonorable than serving in the Army. He did go, having no choice... and it was in vain, as he died from Typhus in Washington, and never did go into battle.

Can you imagine what his dying thoughts were, away from home?

Back then life was hard for most ordinary hard-working people, and Mary Jane Brotherton-Neil had no time to "recover" from her grief. There was a crop to be tended and children to continue to raise. She could not turn on a radio or TV for distraction... she only had time to work, and perhaps sing some hymns on Sunday.

The following year two of her youngest sons died. From hunger, from disease? I don't know... but I am sure Mary Jane shed tears for them too. She passed away around 1908, living in her daughter's (Serena Love's) home.

How lucky I am that I am not my great, great grandmother, yet also lucky to be descended from her!

Mary Jane, I hope you have a special spot in heaven!

Finding Old Letters In A Box - My Reward

2009-07-16T18:14:00.003-04:00

Living 1200 miles from my children, I've decided it's practical to sort my "papers" out. I have worked on it for days, and am only half done....

But my kids won't have to come and go through all of this when I "go to my eternal reward"... (Hah... we don't say "die" here in Florida, that's understood!)

It's important that your kids get to have important family photos, keepsakes and documents. Old people usually don't realize that if they don't have the patience to sort these items and put them in an organized system, the kids sure aren't! (It can get to the "Hello Dumpster" stage real quick!)

Well, I intend to make it easy for my kids. After removing the buttons, rubber bands, expired store coupons, mummified chewed gum, and old electric bills from the boxes... I am finally down to the "important" papers. I wish I had done this years ago, and I warn you to think about what you have squirrelled away!

But one unexpected reward for me... was finding here and there, letters from old friends. The letters began when I was 12, from dear girls I left behind in the country when I moved to the city. I had forgotten what good friends those girls were, and how well we knew each other. The letters go on with other friends for many years, and they warmed my heart!

I had forgotten how much I had meant to my friends, and visa versa! Also, I had forgotten all the trials we had supported each other through, and the humor and intellect of my "buddies".

Of course there were a few love letters from a couple of boyfriends who thought they couldn't live without me! Hah.... glad they can't see me now, waddling down the lane!

After reading the old letters I felt really good about my life. I realized that anything I had gained, or how much I ended up with didn't count much. One of the most endearing things was the friendships I had been blessed with.

(We won't even go to the "children" category.... they are the moon and stars to me!)

So, be kind to your kids, start organizing your papers! You too just might find out how much you were loved! Hah....

When you do it, think about that wild old lady in Florida who loves her life! :)

More of My Poetry From the 1950's!

2009-07-14T15:07:00.003-04:00

My gosh, going through this old poetry is almost "too much". I think these three that I wrote back then are kind of different....

"A Yukky Love Poem... Oh Teen Angst!"

"If you didn't love me, then why did you kiss me?
Kiss me so softly, and make me love you...

If you didn't love me, then why did you miss me?
And come back so sweetly, that I missed you too....

If you didn't love me, then why did you take me?
With passion, with tendress, with soft lies to cruel...

If you didn't love me, then why did you love me?
With your burning heart, and my soul for it's fuel...."

(I don't know if "tendress" is really a word. I thought it was a nice abbreviation for tenderness that didn't disrupt the rythmn...)

The following I wrote in sympathy for a woman who showed up in church one Sunday and was sort of shunned because she looked like she didn't belong....

"Dashed Hopes"

"I saw a hat upon the street....
A hat like the good wear when they plan to meet...
The seventh day of the week...
I seen them smile, and bow, and speak.

So I picked the hat up in a spurt...
I fixed the veil and brushed off the dirt...
I went home and smiled at the kids...
Now I will do what everyone else did.

I hid my dress under my coat...
It wasn't too bad and hid my bloat...
I fixed my hair with a rubber band...
Then I found a glove to carry in my hand.

I took the Bible just for show...
I don't read it, you know....
I found a church that was big in size...
When I walked in, they showed their surprise...
Guess they couldn't believe their eyes!

Well I sat behind this dame sporting a big red feather...
I couldn't see much altogeather...
When I left, a few shook my hand...
But I saw myself as I really was and I knew that it would take more than a hat to make me very grand....

When I went home, my youngest child drew near....
While I sat thinking, Fred came in with some beer...
There isn't much fun for me except what's in that glass..
When I was young I had some pleasure and it quickly did pass...

No, maybe my life to you seems a little strange...
But it takes more than a gutter hat to make a Gutter Rat change."

Woosh! That was a sad but true little vignette.... Some people are just caught in a whirlpool of sadness and don't know how to get out of it...

Here's another passing thought about a passing figure in the night.

"I looked out into the night as if it were for the first time tonight.
Through a pane of glass I beheld a spark which I thought would be a light on a plane in flight.
But no, it was a star, dancing in the free joy of the night...
It was cold and the ground was slick... but above was a sign of God's presence, I thought...
No wonder so many cultures were religiously orientated around heavenly bodies, blindly worshipping the light and not the "Maker"...

A lonly figure was on the walk, making his way quickly, huddling against the cold.
He went quickly, shuffling ... to what, from what?

We gaze upon the beauty of the stars far away, and try to reach the Moon, but what of the spark that we could kindle in cold hearts? The stars care not for our adoration, but man cries in the night. Do you not hear?"

OK, that's serious enough! Now, smile at each other... it will make your hearts glad! :)

The Eureka Moment! - Reading Poetry 40 Years Later -

2009-07-14T07:09:00.006-04:00

Everyone should write poetry or essays when they are in their teens and twenties. Just so you can re-read them when you are in your 60's, and go "Aha"!

The way I was raised I didn't think I had to take care of myself.... someone else would... "Hah...."!!!!

In my twenties, after stumbling along aimlessly, I woke up to the truth, that if I didn't take care of me, I was doomed! Here is the Poem I wrote back then which illustrates this "Eureka Moment" (or what I call my great Duhhh Moment!)

"Commentary #2

In a fertile field I waited for seeds...
While my icy fingers counted my needs...
And as I fed amongst the weeds...
I saw many others plentifully feed.

Then I waited for seeds no more...
I woke and decided to test my core....
With fear and quaking, I opened my door...
And pen in hand... let my thoughts soar...

Reading my poems of yesteryear....
I see they were pauses to shed a tear...
I burnt them, all memories of my fear...
Ignomy immortalized is a feat I hold drear.

Instead, let me pass on the story of rise...
And warn of defeat where distemper lies...
Your strength by the mighty is leashed from the skies...
And is yours for the tasking, and not for the sighs."

by Roberta Mary McGrath .... struggling in her twenties to become a mature adult....

("Tasking" is not a "typo"... it was my nieve attempt to cleverly convey with one word that you have to work for what you want, nobody is going to give you things because you want them. I could edit these old poems, but I like the honesty and struggle in them....!)

Hah.... Do smile about it, we were all young once.... :) Have a great day my friends!

My Sonic Scrubber-What a Tool!

2009-07-10T09:06:00.003-04:00

If I had the money to pay a maid, I would never do housework again!

There are just so many other interesting things to do!!!!

But....because I have to actually live in my house, I experiment to find fast, easy tools that help me clean house.

The "SONIC SCRUBBER" has become a success story in my home! This little battery operated wonder scrubs faucets and grout lines like a little single minded demon.... It's energy reminds me of the "Tasmanian Devil"..... Wow!

When entering my kitchen, the faucet shines like a piece of jewelry now! Unless your feet actually stick to the floor as you walk, you notice nothing else!

And fun? I can't tell you how much fun this little tool is to use! I sprinkle a little CLR solution on the faucets, then turn on my "Sonic Scrubber" and kind of "space out" while guiding it over the chrome. Who would have thought that a formerly boring household chore could become so mind altering? (Well, obviously it doesn't take much to alter my mind... I have always been "almost there". Hey, I never did drugs... never had to.)

When I rinse and shine the faucet with a dry cloth, it looks like new!

Another payoff is that when I have done all the faucets in the house, I can tell my husband I am tired because of all the "housework" I have just done.

"Time to do another job, now.." I say as I come into my little office/guest bedroom to write this Blog.

Oh, Life is Good, you just have to be creative!

Have a great day, and know that somewhere in Florida there is a wild old lady with shiny faucets who is enjoying life! :)

Mommy's "Fat" Clothes!

2009-07-09T21:45:00.003-04:00

When I was in my thirties and gave birth to my second daughter, my weight sky-rocketed! (Doesn't "sky-rocketed" sound much better than I sat on the couch and ate twinkies while feeding my baby? ... hah!)

Well anyway, it was an out of the world experience to gain 70 pounds in 8 months.... (And, I'm talking about after my daughter was born!)

She was a joy, and loved me with total acceptance only the way a child can! I might not have liked myself, bursting out of my skin, but she loved me....

One day I was in the bathroom, getting ready to go to work, my clothes hanging nearby... (Yes, I was nude.... don't even go there!...)

My little 4 year old doll looked up at my formidable girth and said with the greatest amount of amazement and admiration (As though it was a good thing....) "Mommy, you're really fat...." then she looked at my clothes, fresh off the rack, designed by "Omar, the tent-maker", and continued to say.... "And.... those are your Fat Clothes!"

It was not hard to smile at her and agree... the loving way she spoke to me just made me feel good. When people really love you, everything about you is not only accepted, but Loved!!!

Have a good night, and now it's your turn to think about all the times you have been really loved!

The Pineapple Caper

2009-07-08T22:00:00.000-04:00

I love to surprise my husband with new delights from the grocery store. (Those are the delights he is still able to enjoy!... hah)

It was with pride that I bought a fresh pineapple from the deli section of our best local grocery store and brought it home. It was not the type of pineapple with the prickly top and dimpled sides that I usually sit on the counter until it rots... this one was already trimmed into a wonderful peeled tube, with the core evenly cut into a circular tube, then left intact to keep the fruit juicy and solid! Oh, how proudly it sat on the refrigerator shelf, protected in it's glistening, plastic doric column. (What a beautiful thing, I thought...)

Afraid my husband wouldn't notice this latest culinary gem, yet anxious to sample it's succulence, I took it out later that evening to sample. But the core was missing!

What had happened?

I stood there, mystified by such chicannery, when my husband emerged briefly from his "Man Room".

He was moving at an uncharacteristically quick pace, so I knew he was on his way to make a "pit stop" during a commercial. Evidently he was not in a total "Sit-Com Stupor", as he noticed me standing there looking at the pineapple. (Or maybe he only noticed the Pineapple!)

His passing comment.... "Don't buy that kind of Pineapple any more.... It's tough!"

I stood there in stunned silence, well silent except for the muffled sounds coming from the bathroom. It took a minute to dawn on me! The idiot had eaten the core!

Whoops! I mean the poor man had ingested the pith because I failed to instruct him to not eat "waste"!

Bad, girl.... bad girl.... I laughed all night.

So you have some fun too! You never know WHERE you will find it!

The Heimlich Maneuver & The Power Boost Recliner Seat

2009-07-06T20:43:00.000-04:00

My husband is fully trained and certified to administer the Heimlich Maneuver. (The crowd applauds...!) He also occupies a recliner which boasts having a "power boost" seat that will place him in an almost standing position, after he pushes the button on his handy-dandy control. (This is integral to the story...)

One night the inevitable happened.... I was eating while watching TV (I eat while doing almost anything these days...) and due to a momentary lapse due to the intoxicating effect of the food combined with the aphrodesiac quality of the TV show I was watching.... I began to choke. Hah... no worry, I had at my beck and call the Certified Heimlich Maneuver Master...

Problem #1.... I was in the living room and he was around the corner in his "Man Room".... Why? Because I have a 52" TV all to myself with my very own totally memorized remote pad! (Duh... Women in the crowd nudge each other knowingly.)

Problem #2.... It's hard to yell for help while you are choking....

Problem #3.... My husband can't just "pop" up out of his chair. He has to first think about if it's really an "emergency", then he pushed his little "eject" button, which hums while it slowly raises him to a standing position.

Now, just so you can appreciate my dilemma, imagine you are choking, imagine your mind is racing .... "How do I get the attention of my Rescuer?".... You pound on the arm of the couch, and finally you hear the hum of your rescuer's "ejector seat" being activated.... Imagine hmmmmm..... hmmmmmm.... hmmmmm.... hmmmmm.... for what seems to be an interminable time. The horror, the horror....

Well, I did what any good old girl from New York State who has good lungs would do. Knowing I was on my own, I used the little air I had left to expell the half-sandwich that was lodged in my throat.

Two minutes later, my husband appeared at my side, all ready to come to my rescue. I told him I had almost choked to death, and he looked into the distance, as though calculating.... "How much is she insured for?", then snapped out of it and said "Oh"... and retreated to his "Man Room" to continue watching his "Sit-Com"....

You know, I would have been offended, but in my heart I know how much he enjoys his "Sit-Coms".... Hah... So now I eat my food in very Small bites!

Hah... Smile and Enjoy!

The "Pack Rat" Syndrome Exhibited in My Stuffed Address Book

2009-07-05T08:22:00.000-04:00

I recently changed my e-mail address, and not being a tecchie, it was a chore! (Chore She says! How about "Heart Attack Bait?") After spending two days trying to import the data from my old address book to my new address book, I am now re-transcribing the important data by hand.

While looking through the old address book, the question I asked was:

"Who are these people"????

and....

"Will they notice I am gone from their lives"????

In reality I have been AWOL from their lives for years, so the answer is "Roberta... who?" .... No, they have not "noticed" that I was "gone".

My keeping their e-mail addresses on file was nothing but a manifestation of my "Pack Rat" Syndrome.

My former cluttered and mostly useless former Address Book is a metaphor for my life...

Hard to navigate at times because of the clutter....

With unfinished projects crying to be finished or tossed....

Filled with broken items that have to be fixed or discarded....

Closets burdened with "Good" clothes that don't fit that must be given to someone who can wear them before they become "vintage" clothes.

Cupboards overflowing with cans of food that have to be donated to food banks, before the expiration dates arrive....

Yes, when the Apocalypse comes, old food and tight clothes won't do me any good unless the Devil is attracted to old, fat women with dysentery who live in cluttered homes!

Hah...! So get rid of what you can't use, and start with those address books!

Happy Day to all! :)

The "Golden" Listener

2009-07-04T11:28:00.000-04:00

(Just thought I would include an image of one of my oil paintings! This is "Orlando Grasshopper".)

My husband and I went out for a pleasant ride this morning. I took reference photos at our local outdoor market, and we viewed some of the countryside from the comfort of our air-conditioned SUV.

We discussed someone we know who I go to great lengths to avoid talking to on the phone. The reason? She talks extensively about her favorite subject - herself - and has no interest in anyone elses life. A one-and 1/2 hour conversation with her will consist of 88 minutes about her, and if I am lucky, 2 minutes about me. The two minutes I have are barely tolerated, and sometimes accented with an audible sigh by her. The rules seem to be, "If you speak, make sure I am the subject. Don't dare try to change the subject to yourself. I called to talk about Me, Me, Me, - don't you get it?"

Hah.... My husband, who cannot be accused of being "wordy", said "She has a Jaw on her." To which I said, "That's a great description! Now all she needs is to develop ears to go with the "jaw". Amen!

So my thought for the day is that everyone should develop the quality of being a "Golden Listener".... A "Golden Listener" will invest their time unselfishly to listening to another person when that person obviously needs a "sympathetic ear", a "sounding board", of to "vent". The "Golden Listener" needs to understand that everyone needs to feel important at times, so it is wonderful to be unselfish and sacrifice some of their precious time on this earth for others.

However, when the "Jaw" needs to "vent" all of the time; needs a "sympathetic ear" all of the time; and is self-involved to the point where listening "back" is a chore..... then it's time to put an ear plug in the "Golden Ear"....

So do listen to your friends and relatives.... Do give them your ear when they need it.... But if they have only a cursury interest in you and your life, then it's time to pull back on your listening time.

Now some people would say.... "Well, don't be a dope.... just tell them they are being self-involved and you are sick of it..." Hah... The one thing I have learned about people is they are what they are. They won't change because you tell them that you find something about them intolerable. A person who is self-involved will probably always be that way. A person who is over-bearing will always be that way too... and on and on.

So if it's a relative, and you burden them with your honesty, may the Good Lord help you. You have created a family rift.

If it's a "friend" you are honest with, that will not only end the friendship, but end it bitterly... and you will now have an enemy.

So I avoid these relatives and use escape routes.... no hard feelings. With friends... I find that these people were never good "friendship" material anyway... so I just avoid them until they find another victim.

Life is too short to be the "Golden Ear" for an unworthy person, but also too short to fight about it.... Cheers! I hope this helped someone!

Florida Living - My Own Pool

2009-07-03T22:18:00.000-04:00

There are drawbacks to living in Florida. I miss seeing my girls and grandsons. Nothing can replace them. However, having a nice "caged" pool is a plus. I get in the water almost every day for an hour of exercise. Up north, our pool got up to 80 degrees one time! Big whoop, I thought I was in 7th Heaven! Down here I am so acclimated to the heat, that if it goes below 85 degrees, I think I am freezing! We have a pool heater, but once it gets hot outside, the water is fine.

Ooops, I used the term "caged" pool. Before living in Florida I didn't know what that was. It means that when I walk out my back door, onto the lanai, the pool is totally enclosed with screening, along with the lanai. No bugs, no mosquitos.... it is heaven! Hah.... I will take the "cage" happily!

July 2, 2009 "Forwarded" E-Mail

2009-07-02T17:08:00.000-04:00

Every time I sign in to my e-mail, the first thing I have to do is delete those darned "Forwarded" e-mails that clog my box up! I have told people I don't have time to read those things, and some of them are plain offensive, but they keep a'comin'... I don't mind some people sending me a cute thing once or twice a month, but some people .... honestly I can picture them sitting there, hunched over their computers like a crazed Wizard of Oz... Sending, sending, sending!

I figured out why they don't sort their address books into "groups" to send this stuff to. They Don't Know How To Do That!!! People who send political e-mails should definitely have a Republican group separate from their Democratic group. Come on!

One exception is our local art group who's publicist forwards news of art receptions, contests, opportunities, and interesting art demos.

Well, I don't care if anyone reads this blog or not. I put my thoughts on "forwarded" e-mails out there, and feel a little better for it.... !

Juggling Everything

2009-07-01T09:16:00.000-04:00

At 62 I stumbled on an art class in a RV Park in Florida. (Wow, that's original! .... hah!) For $3.00 I could have a three hour lesson using pastels with a group of other fun ladies. Now I call that a "win-win situation".

All my life I have sketched, but not had any lessons using color. What fun! When I returned up north, I entered three of my novice pastel paintings in the Erie County Fair Fine Arts Competition, and came home with 5, (yes - count 'em Five!) ribbons, including "Best of Novice Division".... I actually sold one painting of wilted sunflowers.... The buyer telling me the painting "took the wall". How sweet!

Enough bragging. Since then we sold everything up north and moved permanently to Brooksville, FL. We built a house down here and I have my own studio. Juggling everything is a challenge. If I had my own way I would empty most of the other rooms and work on nothing but my art, but that is not possible.

I have a husband here who sometimes wonders when we are going to eat dinner. Hah.... He wonderfully fixes his own breakfast and lunch, so I have eliminated those chores from my "maid" duties. He also actually changes his own bed now, and puts his own clothes through the washer and dryer without feeling "put upon". He has gotten up at 8:00 a.m. and seen me already working in my studio, so he has become extremely cooperative in caring for himself in basic ways.

He has a "man room", and I visit him there and discuss what we are going to do for dinner, his main concern... hah... This takes care of our biggest concern for the day. (How sweet it is!) We also discuss appointments, and store trips. When you are juggling a lot of things it is best to discuss daily expectations with your partner/spouse/parent/child. That way nobody becomes dissappointed/hurt/angry. How easy life is when you communicate clearly!

With my husband... (who is the antithisist of "domestic") taking charge of a few chores, and helping to care for his own needs, I feel sooo much less pressure! This way I don't feel put upon to thoroughly clean portions of the house when the mood strikes me.

I have tried cleaning ladies, and the two I had in this area were terrible.

One tip.... when a cleaning lady does not turn on the lights in the room she's cleaning, you are in trouble.

Second tip... when the cleaning lady's idea of "deep cleaning" is to wipe the cupboards with one hand with a paper towel while talking with her boyfriend on her cellphone with with other hand, you are also in trouble.

Therefore, I juggle the housework with creating art! Hah...