The Biggest Loser... Last Chance Workout!

Have you ever watched the workouts the trainers on "The Biggest Loser" put old, unhealthy, obese people through? It almost puts me in a state of cardiac arrest when I see people who weigh 100 pounds more than me... being forced to run on a treadmill at 8 mph.

When I'm in good shape, I can do 2 mph on a treadmill, and my sweatband glistens on my forehead in a most attractive way (I think). I have determined that 2mph is the perfect speed because it does not cause my breasts to jiggle up and down at a rate which will cause them to hang any lower when I am done with the "workout".

I also don't like my bottom to rotate too quickly, as that causes the material from my shorts to be "swallowed up" by my "back" crack. It doesn't take too much time for my shorts to develop the death grip of a python during such an obscenely vigorous workout. Not for me....

I have watched women running on the treadmill on "The Biggest Loser" at such an unreasonable rate that even my 52" TV had a problem containing all the fat flying in different directions.

And then there's the "throwup".... oh yuk... The only reasonable scenario for vomiting is when a person is sick. You never, never exercise to the point of vomit, then go back to the treadmill for more. Jillian loves it when the fatsos vomit. (She has the temperament of the Marquis De Sade, you know.) It's terrible and fascinating to watch.... and I do watch it.

So back to my comfortable little nest here, where nobody pushes me. ("Just try, Buck-o!") I have been reading Dr. Phil's book on "The Seven Steps To Weight Loss", and am doing very well, thank you.... Hah....

My biggest problem has been eating 1200 calories a day, because the infusion of 2 fruits and 3 veggies daily makes me feel full. (My goal is 1200 to 1600) Dr. Phil is right... if you follow his instructions, you won't feel hungry.

The only problem is that the book is not a "quick read"... You have to really study it until you "get it". (Maybe it's just me.)

So as I sit in the comfort of my Florida home, with my Dr. Phil book, I am thankful I don't have to be at the mercy of trainers Jillian and Bob!

So if you are overweight, and want to scare yourself "thin", watch "The Biggest Loser" some night....

You can be sure that Wild Old Lady in Florida is watching too, and enjoying a bowl of strawberries!

Love to you all, thin or fat, from me....!