Tribute to Norbert X. Dowd-Bangor Chamber of Commerce 1968

In 1968 I, along with three friends, was breaking up with my boyfriend for the umpteenth time! After reading an article extolling the virtues of available men in Bangor, Maine, I shared this with my friends, and they all said "Let's go!" Hah....

Being a sensible person, I wrote to the Bangor Chamber of Commerce asking about the areas single male population, and opportunities for employment.... (I pictured myself as a secretary in a logging camp, jumping from one log to another to get home for lunch! Weeeeee!)

Here is the reply I received... so humorous, insightful, yet caring... that I kept it for 40 years now!

Dear Roberta:

Thank you for your intriguing and emotion filled letter of March 15th wherein you served as letter writer and thought expresser for three other lovely girls who are seeking greener pastures in which to search for a mate.

You also requested information on greener pastures for employment, but this seemed to be a by-product of your more interesting marital green pastures. On the employment situation, we believe that a person who has achieved experience and training in a given field, who sincerely wants to work and who would be loyal and dedicated to his work, will never be without work for any appreciable time. If you and your friends really meet the above qualifications then you might want to subscribe to the Bangor Daily News, 491 Main Street, for two weeks or a month to scan the employment situation indicated in the classified section. You might find some job opportunities to meet your desires.

However, do not give up your present job and come here to find employment. First, if you find something, write or call the prospective employer to set up an interview and to see whether or not you would like to become members of our fast growing Bangor Family. You would also want to consider the housing situation in Bangor before making a definite move.

Now regarding that "seeking-a-husband bit". We can't guarantee that you will find a heart throbbing male or males in these 'pastures' at any given time. True, we do have male men in this area who would make good husband material, but they might not meet what you girls have in mind for husbands. Do you think in adjective terms of tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, steady, rich, athletic - all rolled into one package? Or what are you thinking in terms of blue eyes, brown eyes, hazel eyes - upturned nose, ski nose, Roman nose or just plain flat nose? And what about temperament - even, mild, raucous, pleasing, fighting, jealous or what? And most important, are you thinking of love, infatuation or a stop gap in a period of frustration?

These are the questions our marital committee ask whenever four girls from Niagara Falls seek mates in our 'fertile green pastures'. And until we have the answers, we have no way to give freely of our advice.

So if you will fill us in on the above, we will then look around to see what percentage of young men here would fit into your plans.

But in the meantime, place your trust in Him who will guide you directly to that man with whom you will share your love and life forever and a day. He may be here in Bangor or he may be right near you in Niagara Falls. But He will have a hand in it, no matter and so I say to you lovely girls, talk to Him and ask Him to guide you and as sure as the water tumbles in might power over your wonder-of-the-world, He will find and direct that right young man to your waiting arms, your throbbing heart and your sacred love.

Very Sincerely,
Norbert X. Dowd ... Exec. Secretary - Bangor Chamber of Commerce

Long story short, I reunited with my boyfriend, my girlfriends turned out to be all "talk" and were "horrified" that I wrote to Bangor, and I continued to work as a secretary.

I often thought of the fresh air in Bangor, Maine... and that daring, compassionate Mr. Dowd who worked at the Chamber of Commerce.

Guess I should'a at least taken a vacation to Bangor! Hah.. With three friends in tow, of course... (Always think of safety!)

My friends... have a great day.... :)

Mystery Solved! .... Why Garage Sales Are Better up North!

Now I know why garage/estate sales are sooo much better back in New York State!

It's because there are basements and attics to stash things in!

So you never get rid of Aunt Tillie's Old Harker-Ware Cameo Tea Service, because you think you will do "something" with it eventually. But the burden of that tea set plus the hundreds of other old things you have stashed away begins to wear on you.

Then the day comes when you want to sell your home, and retire to a gated community in Arizona! But you have ALL this stuff! ..... and nobody want's Aunt Tillie's tea set....

So your kids help you have a garage sale, and you become so exhausted by the time you sort through the 100th box, that you are ready to give everything away! (It doesn't help when the kids call it all junk!.... hah)

You find a good home for the Cameo Ware tea set, selling it for $5.00! (They take it home and sell it on Ebay for $150.00....)

You unload a huge set of colorful Riviera Ware for $7.00, sighing with relief! (After all, it's not "Fiesta Ware", for crying out loud!) Sold on Ebay for over $300.00.....

And that "Watt Pottery" with the apples painted on it... why, it's heavy pottery, not fine china! How about $1.00 each for those plates? (Boy, you are really good!) hah.... (Over $100.00 for one Watt Pottery Spaghetti plate!

Recently I talked with an old friend up north about the collectibles I used to sell .... I said... "I have made a lot of money buying and selling Bakelite jewelry. Make sure you hang on to your Mom's Bakelite sets, because they were so chunky and pretty." (Her Mom had exquisite taste!)

Janet replied "Oh, I donated that jewelry to my church for a sale because I thought it was "just plastic".... huhhhh????

After belatedly telling her how to test "plastic" with simichrome or "Formula 409" to see if it is plastic or Bakelite, my belief that New York State is indeed the place for collectors to "be" was reinforced! .... hah!

How did I learn so much about collectibles? With "trial and error", a great memory, a willingness to research on Ebay from 8:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m., a husband who was forced to retire early (so I had to make extra money), and an insatiable desire to learn...!

Oh, and don't forget about the "thrill of the "hunt"!

Hah, life can be so much fun! Just open up your eyes to the adventure of it all!

So if you live in an area where people have attics and basements, don't squander your opportunity to get out this weekend and go "Garage Sale-ing"!

Happy hunting, my friend! :)

Making the Water Safe for Dumb-Bells

Three years ago I bought Aquatic-Foam Dumb-Bells to enhance my water "Aerobics".

Added to my routine of Water Pilates/Yoga and Moves I can't execute on dry land, they really worked my arms out, as I "pressed" them in and out of the water.

Then, one day my husband grabbed them and put one under each arm... and began to .... float... hah ... That was the end of my bicep press exercize! (And who wants to use them once they are encrusted with Ban Deodorant!... Oooosch, Yuk!)

Corky loves to find the easiest way to accomplish any given task. While I am frantically dog-paddling in circles, he prefers to "float".... , smiling vacantly at the yard in particular and nothing in general.

His thoughts are probably of a genius nature that I can't fathom. The effort spared by using my Dumb-Bells to keep him afloat must just be forcing his mind to calculate solutions for the world's problems at Quantum speed!

So, if Corky arrives at a solution for the ecomony, a cure for cancer, and can tell us if Mars is really habitable.... I can take my share of the credit!

I am so confident of this that tonight I bought another set of "floaties".... oops! I mean - Dumb-Bells!

So have a good night my dears, and love to all from that wild old lady in Florida! :)

Is The Brooklyn Bridge Still For Sale?

If the Brooklyn Bridge is still for sale, please don't advertise it on Television!

My husband sits in front of the T.V. every day in his Electric Lift Chair, watching "Informative Commercials" ... credit card in hand! All of a sudden he is enthralled by demonstrations of mechanical wonders like the "Swivel Sweeper". (We now own three, and have given two as Christmas gifts.)

When I had a phone installed next to his chair, I thought it might come in handy if he ever wanted to call "911". Who thought he would ever develop the mental agility required to write down 11-digit phone numbers? (Now I believe chimps can be taught how to do anything.)

A few years ago he tried ordering items, using the automated systems you reach when calling the 1-800 numbers. Fortunately for our bank account, his fingers were too big to press the proper numbers quickly when prompted to, so his ordering attempts fell flat.

Then some marketing guru figured out that using voice recognition would be a good way to take orders over the phone. Well, my Corky can talk, so is he in luck now!

When I hear his muffled voice barking out commands from the direction of his "man cave", I know he's ordering something again. This time, it's a "wand" that turns the water pressure from your hose into that of a "pressure washer". (Did I mention we have a pressure washer in our garage?)

Well, until I hear him barking out such selections as "blonde", "good looking", and "replacement", I am not going to complain. Hah....

After all... the Brooklyn Bridge is not for sale yet, and a man has to have a hobby!

Keep laughing friends!.... :)

"Pooh-Bear" Williams and My Daughter Becky

By the time my pretty blonde daughter was 20, she had several years experience working in nursing homes. With her nurturing nature, we thought she was going to go on to become a nurse.

(So handy to have a nurse for a daughter, when you are getting old!.. hah)

Well, one day Rebecca decided she was going to sell cars instead. There was an opening at a car dealership, so my size 2 blonde marched all of her 120 pounds in to interview with a seasoned "I've seen it all" prospective boss.

Though inexperienced, she was armed with an intense desire to sell cars, and was hired "conditionally"...

She did well because she was smart and worked hard. I often went in and saw the older pot-bellied salesmen chatting with each other while Becky was in her cubicle, making phone calls to prospects... "A car just came in that I think is just what you were looking for...." (Now don't you envy her boss?)

Long story short, she was "Sales Person of the Month" more than once and became a Finance Manager too...

However, here is a funny little story about this accomplished rookie!

We lived in Orchard Park, New York, two miles from the Buffalo Bills Football Stadium. It was commonplace to see well-known football players, Coach Levy & his wife, and Mr. Butler at local hang-outs.

One day my daughter took a financial application from a 300 lb. plus black gentleman... He gave her all his info in a quiet genteel manner... Place of Employment... "Buffalo Bills" Weekly Pay.... (I don't remember, but say $3,000.00 a week) ....

All of a sudden, during the process, a lightbulb went off in my pretty blonde daughters head... she looked up at him, opened her light blue eyes wide and said, "Oh, you work for the Buffalo Bills! What do you do?"

"I play football" he deadpanned back...

That, my friends, was "Pooh Bear Williams".... a big, mean running back, but a real sweet gentleman...

So.... all of you with "blonde" daughters... smile and know how lucky you are! :) Love to all...

Family Stories - Write Them Down! - Put them in a 3-ring binder!

The nice thing about genealogy is that you get a glimpse into your past, and you do find out about family names and longevity. If you are lucky you will learn what diseases your ancestors did/didnot have.

Although all this can be useful, the "data" is the bone, but the "stories" are the meat, and sometimes even are the "succulent dessert", topping off the meal!

In my Gallinger book, my cousin Lily Worral (professional genealogist and teacher) had the appreciation of stories to include them wherever she encountered them. God bless Lily!!!

Especially interesting was the one about a short, feisty relative who's outbursts made her husband and father run and hide in the barn to avoid her wrath.

(Oh, I could picture the feistiness of my 5' tall mother there, who was very charming and companionable, but if her "ire" was raised, grown men would quake. Hah...)

Once I had a boyfriend who did not accept my breakup with him... he put sugar in my gas tank, slashed my car seats, etc. One "visit" from my angry mother and I never saw him again in town. (In her I could see the spirit of the ancestor who could make grown men run for their lives! hah....)

Don't assume your children are going to remember the family stories you tell them.... They probably aren't really listening. Few kids are fascinated with history, especially yours! Secretly they are probably hoping they won't even grow up to look like you!

But do take the time to write down the stories you know, and put them in a 3-ring binder! Label it "Family Stories", and be prepared for people to laugh at you!

(Hah... who cares? People probably laugh at you anyway.)

Right now I bet my girls don't remember that my Dad had six sisters, and they were wonderful, highly intelligent ladies who were sooo well respected for their refinement.

My Aunt Grace was loved by everyone... she worked for a lawyer in Niagara Falls, New York, and knew the law so thoroughly that she was often consulted by other lawyers. She also had her own insurance business on the side. She went to lunch at a little diner in the building she worked at... Hat, veil, gloves... the whole deal. One of the long-time waitresses there loved to wait on Aunt Grace because my aunt treated the waitress with the same respect that she would give to a judge. The waitress loved her and referred to her as "Gracious", rather than "Grace McGrath"....

Now, when people read in the family genealogy about Aunt Grace, the facts don't really relate who she really was. The little stories paint a heart-warming picture.

So please write your stories down... a little every day! You don't have to be "Ernest Hemmingway".... just be "you"... Someone else can correct your grammer and spelling in the future, but they don't know your stories!

Love to you all! :)

Mary Jane Brotherton-Neil - Civil War Widow

Mary Jane Brotherton-Neil was my great, great grandmother and I appreciate the luxury in my life more now that I know a few facts about her life and how hard it must have been.

Born in 1824, she married William Neil, a New York State farmer, and according to one source they had ten children. Around the end of the Civil War her husband was forced to serve in the union army. His objection was having a wife with ten children and a crop in the field, leaving them would have been more dishonorable than serving in the Army. He did go, having no choice... and it was in vain, as he died from Typhus in Washington, and never did go into battle.

Can you imagine what his dying thoughts were, away from home?

Back then life was hard for most ordinary hard-working people, and Mary Jane Brotherton-Neil had no time to "recover" from her grief. There was a crop to be tended and children to continue to raise. She could not turn on a radio or TV for distraction... she only had time to work, and perhaps sing some hymns on Sunday.

The following year two of her youngest sons died. From hunger, from disease? I don't know... but I am sure Mary Jane shed tears for them too. She passed away around 1908, living in her daughter's (Serena Love's) home.

How lucky I am that I am not my great, great grandmother, yet also lucky to be descended from her!

Mary Jane, I hope you have a special spot in heaven!

Finding Old Letters In A Box - My Reward

Living 1200 miles from my children, I've decided it's practical to sort my "papers" out. I have worked on it for days, and am only half done....

But my kids won't have to come and go through all of this when I "go to my eternal reward"... (Hah... we don't say "die" here in Florida, that's understood!)

It's important that your kids get to have important family photos, keepsakes and documents. Old people usually don't realize that if they don't have the patience to sort these items and put them in an organized system, the kids sure aren't! (It can get to the "Hello Dumpster" stage real quick!)

Well, I intend to make it easy for my kids. After removing the buttons, rubber bands, expired store coupons, mummified chewed gum, and old electric bills from the boxes... I am finally down to the "important" papers. I wish I had done this years ago, and I warn you to think about what you have squirrelled away!

But one unexpected reward for me... was finding here and there, letters from old friends. The letters began when I was 12, from dear girls I left behind in the country when I moved to the city. I had forgotten what good friends those girls were, and how well we knew each other. The letters go on with other friends for many years, and they warmed my heart!

I had forgotten how much I had meant to my friends, and visa versa! Also, I had forgotten all the trials we had supported each other through, and the humor and intellect of my "buddies".

Of course there were a few love letters from a couple of boyfriends who thought they couldn't live without me! Hah.... glad they can't see me now, waddling down the lane!

After reading the old letters I felt really good about my life. I realized that anything I had gained, or how much I ended up with didn't count much. One of the most endearing things was the friendships I had been blessed with.

(We won't even go to the "children" category.... they are the moon and stars to me!)

So, be kind to your kids, start organizing your papers! You too just might find out how much you were loved! Hah....

When you do it, think about that wild old lady in Florida who loves her life! :)

More of My Poetry From the 1950's!

My gosh, going through this old poetry is almost "too much". I think these three that I wrote back then are kind of different....

"A Yukky Love Poem... Oh Teen Angst!"

"If you didn't love me, then why did you kiss me?
Kiss me so softly, and make me love you...

If you didn't love me, then why did you miss me?
And come back so sweetly, that I missed you too....

If you didn't love me, then why did you take me?
With passion, with tendress, with soft lies to cruel...

If you didn't love me, then why did you love me?
With your burning heart, and my soul for it's fuel...."

(I don't know if "tendress" is really a word. I thought it was a nice abbreviation for tenderness that didn't disrupt the rythmn...)

The following I wrote in sympathy for a woman who showed up in church one Sunday and was sort of shunned because she looked like she didn't belong....

"Dashed Hopes"

"I saw a hat upon the street....
A hat like the good wear when they plan to meet...
The seventh day of the week...
I seen them smile, and bow, and speak.

So I picked the hat up in a spurt...
I fixed the veil and brushed off the dirt...
I went home and smiled at the kids...
Now I will do what everyone else did.

I hid my dress under my coat...
It wasn't too bad and hid my bloat...
I fixed my hair with a rubber band...
Then I found a glove to carry in my hand.

I took the Bible just for show...
I don't read it, you know....
I found a church that was big in size...
When I walked in, they showed their surprise...
Guess they couldn't believe their eyes!

Well I sat behind this dame sporting a big red feather...
I couldn't see much altogeather...
When I left, a few shook my hand...
But I saw myself as I really was and I knew that it would take more than a hat to make me very grand....

When I went home, my youngest child drew near....
While I sat thinking, Fred came in with some beer...
There isn't much fun for me except what's in that glass..
When I was young I had some pleasure and it quickly did pass...

No, maybe my life to you seems a little strange...
But it takes more than a gutter hat to make a Gutter Rat change."

Woosh! That was a sad but true little vignette.... Some people are just caught in a whirlpool of sadness and don't know how to get out of it...

Here's another passing thought about a passing figure in the night.

"I looked out into the night as if it were for the first time tonight.
Through a pane of glass I beheld a spark which I thought would be a light on a plane in flight.
But no, it was a star, dancing in the free joy of the night...
It was cold and the ground was slick... but above was a sign of God's presence, I thought...
No wonder so many cultures were religiously orientated around heavenly bodies, blindly worshipping the light and not the "Maker"...

A lonly figure was on the walk, making his way quickly, huddling against the cold.
He went quickly, shuffling ... to what, from what?

We gaze upon the beauty of the stars far away, and try to reach the Moon, but what of the spark that we could kindle in cold hearts? The stars care not for our adoration, but man cries in the night. Do you not hear?"

OK, that's serious enough! Now, smile at each other... it will make your hearts glad! :)

The Eureka Moment! - Reading Poetry 40 Years Later -

Everyone should write poetry or essays when they are in their teens and twenties. Just so you can re-read them when you are in your 60's, and go "Aha"!

The way I was raised I didn't think I had to take care of myself.... someone else would... "Hah...."!!!!

In my twenties, after stumbling along aimlessly, I woke up to the truth, that if I didn't take care of me, I was doomed! Here is the Poem I wrote back then which illustrates this "Eureka Moment" (or what I call my great Duhhh Moment!)

"Commentary #2

In a fertile field I waited for seeds...
While my icy fingers counted my needs...
And as I fed amongst the weeds...
I saw many others plentifully feed.

Then I waited for seeds no more...
I woke and decided to test my core....
With fear and quaking, I opened my door...
And pen in hand... let my thoughts soar...

Reading my poems of yesteryear....
I see they were pauses to shed a tear...
I burnt them, all memories of my fear...
Ignomy immortalized is a feat I hold drear.

Instead, let me pass on the story of rise...
And warn of defeat where distemper lies...
Your strength by the mighty is leashed from the skies...
And is yours for the tasking, and not for the sighs."

by Roberta Mary McGrath .... struggling in her twenties to become a mature adult....

("Tasking" is not a "typo"... it was my nieve attempt to cleverly convey with one word that you have to work for what you want, nobody is going to give you things because you want them. I could edit these old poems, but I like the honesty and struggle in them....!)

Hah.... Do smile about it, we were all young once.... :) Have a great day my friends!

My Sonic Scrubber-What a Tool!

If I had the money to pay a maid, I would never do housework again!

There are just so many other interesting things to do!!!!

But....because I have to actually live in my house, I experiment to find fast, easy tools that help me clean house.

The "SONIC SCRUBBER" has become a success story in my home! This little battery operated wonder scrubs faucets and grout lines like a little single minded demon.... It's energy reminds me of the "Tasmanian Devil"..... Wow!

When entering my kitchen, the faucet shines like a piece of jewelry now! Unless your feet actually stick to the floor as you walk, you notice nothing else!

And fun? I can't tell you how much fun this little tool is to use! I sprinkle a little CLR solution on the faucets, then turn on my "Sonic Scrubber" and kind of "space out" while guiding it over the chrome. Who would have thought that a formerly boring household chore could become so mind altering? (Well, obviously it doesn't take much to alter my mind... I have always been "almost there". Hey, I never did drugs... never had to.)

When I rinse and shine the faucet with a dry cloth, it looks like new!

Another payoff is that when I have done all the faucets in the house, I can tell my husband I am tired because of all the "housework" I have just done.

"Time to do another job, now.." I say as I come into my little office/guest bedroom to write this Blog.

Oh, Life is Good, you just have to be creative!

Have a great day, and know that somewhere in Florida there is a wild old lady with shiny faucets who is enjoying life! :)

Mommy's "Fat" Clothes!

When I was in my thirties and gave birth to my second daughter, my weight sky-rocketed! (Doesn't "sky-rocketed" sound much better than I sat on the couch and ate twinkies while feeding my baby? ... hah!)

Well anyway, it was an out of the world experience to gain 70 pounds in 8 months.... (And, I'm talking about after my daughter was born!)

She was a joy, and loved me with total acceptance only the way a child can! I might not have liked myself, bursting out of my skin, but she loved me....

One day I was in the bathroom, getting ready to go to work, my clothes hanging nearby... (Yes, I was nude.... don't even go there!...)

My little 4 year old doll looked up at my formidable girth and said with the greatest amount of amazement and admiration (As though it was a good thing....) "Mommy, you're really fat...." then she looked at my clothes, fresh off the rack, designed by "Omar, the tent-maker", and continued to say.... "And.... those are your Fat Clothes!"

It was not hard to smile at her and agree... the loving way she spoke to me just made me feel good. When people really love you, everything about you is not only accepted, but Loved!!!

Have a good night, and now it's your turn to think about all the times you have been really loved!

The Pineapple Caper

I love to surprise my husband with new delights from the grocery store. (Those are the delights he is still able to enjoy!... hah)

It was with pride that I bought a fresh pineapple from the deli section of our best local grocery store and brought it home. It was not the type of pineapple with the prickly top and dimpled sides that I usually sit on the counter until it rots... this one was already trimmed into a wonderful peeled tube, with the core evenly cut into a circular tube, then left intact to keep the fruit juicy and solid! Oh, how proudly it sat on the refrigerator shelf, protected in it's glistening, plastic doric column. (What a beautiful thing, I thought...)

Afraid my husband wouldn't notice this latest culinary gem, yet anxious to sample it's succulence, I took it out later that evening to sample. But the core was missing!

What had happened?

I stood there, mystified by such chicannery, when my husband emerged briefly from his "Man Room".

He was moving at an uncharacteristically quick pace, so I knew he was on his way to make a "pit stop" during a commercial. Evidently he was not in a total "Sit-Com Stupor", as he noticed me standing there looking at the pineapple. (Or maybe he only noticed the Pineapple!)

His passing comment.... "Don't buy that kind of Pineapple any more.... It's tough!"

I stood there in stunned silence, well silent except for the muffled sounds coming from the bathroom. It took a minute to dawn on me! The idiot had eaten the core!

Whoops! I mean the poor man had ingested the pith because I failed to instruct him to not eat "waste"!

Bad, girl.... bad girl.... I laughed all night.

So you have some fun too! You never know WHERE you will find it!

The Heimlich Maneuver & The Power Boost Recliner Seat

My husband is fully trained and certified to administer the Heimlich Maneuver. (The crowd applauds...!) He also occupies a recliner which boasts having a "power boost" seat that will place him in an almost standing position, after he pushes the button on his handy-dandy control. (This is integral to the story...)

One night the inevitable happened.... I was eating while watching TV (I eat while doing almost anything these days...) and due to a momentary lapse due to the intoxicating effect of the food combined with the aphrodesiac quality of the TV show I was watching.... I began to choke. Hah... no worry, I had at my beck and call the Certified Heimlich Maneuver Master...

Problem #1.... I was in the living room and he was around the corner in his "Man Room".... Why? Because I have a 52" TV all to myself with my very own totally memorized remote pad! (Duh... Women in the crowd nudge each other knowingly.)

Problem #2.... It's hard to yell for help while you are choking....

Problem #3.... My husband can't just "pop" up out of his chair. He has to first think about if it's really an "emergency", then he pushed his little "eject" button, which hums while it slowly raises him to a standing position.

Now, just so you can appreciate my dilemma, imagine you are choking, imagine your mind is racing .... "How do I get the attention of my Rescuer?".... You pound on the arm of the couch, and finally you hear the hum of your rescuer's "ejector seat" being activated.... Imagine hmmmmm..... hmmmmmm.... hmmmmm.... hmmmmm.... for what seems to be an interminable time. The horror, the horror....

Well, I did what any good old girl from New York State who has good lungs would do. Knowing I was on my own, I used the little air I had left to expell the half-sandwich that was lodged in my throat.

Two minutes later, my husband appeared at my side, all ready to come to my rescue. I told him I had almost choked to death, and he looked into the distance, as though calculating.... "How much is she insured for?", then snapped out of it and said "Oh"... and retreated to his "Man Room" to continue watching his "Sit-Com"....

You know, I would have been offended, but in my heart I know how much he enjoys his "Sit-Coms".... Hah... So now I eat my food in very Small bites!

Hah... Smile and Enjoy!

The "Pack Rat" Syndrome Exhibited in My Stuffed Address Book

I recently changed my e-mail address, and not being a tecchie, it was a chore! (Chore She says! How about "Heart Attack Bait?") After spending two days trying to import the data from my old address book to my new address book, I am now re-transcribing the important data by hand.

While looking through the old address book, the question I asked was:

"Who are these people"????


and....


"Will they notice I am gone from their lives"????


In reality I have been AWOL from their lives for years, so the answer is "Roberta... who?" .... No, they have not "noticed" that I was "gone".


My keeping their e-mail addresses on file was nothing but a manifestation of my "Pack Rat" Syndrome.


My former cluttered and mostly useless former Address Book is a metaphor for my life...

Hard to navigate at times because of the clutter....

With unfinished projects crying to be finished or tossed....

Filled with broken items that have to be fixed or discarded....

Closets burdened with "Good" clothes that don't fit that must be given to someone who can wear them before they become "vintage" clothes.

Cupboards overflowing with cans of food that have to be donated to food banks, before the expiration dates arrive....

Yes, when the Apocalypse comes, old food and tight clothes won't do me any good unless the Devil is attracted to old, fat women with dysentery who live in cluttered homes!


Hah...! So get rid of what you can't use, and start with those address books!


Happy Day to all! :)

The "Golden" Listener

(Just thought I would include an image of one of my oil paintings! This is "Orlando Grasshopper".)

My husband and I went out for a pleasant ride this morning. I took reference photos at our local outdoor market, and we viewed some of the countryside from the comfort of our air-conditioned SUV.

We discussed someone we know who I go to great lengths to avoid talking to on the phone. The reason? She talks extensively about her favorite subject - herself - and has no interest in anyone elses life. A one-and 1/2 hour conversation with her will consist of 88 minutes about her, and if I am lucky, 2 minutes about me. The two minutes I have are barely tolerated, and sometimes accented with an audible sigh by her. The rules seem to be, "If you speak, make sure I am the subject. Don't dare try to change the subject to yourself. I called to talk about Me, Me, Me, - don't you get it?"

Hah.... My husband, who cannot be accused of being "wordy", said "She has a Jaw on her." To which I said, "That's a great description! Now all she needs is to develop ears to go with the "jaw". Amen!

So my thought for the day is that everyone should develop the quality of being a "Golden Listener".... A "Golden Listener" will invest their time unselfishly to listening to another person when that person obviously needs a "sympathetic ear", a "sounding board", of to "vent". The "Golden Listener" needs to understand that everyone needs to feel important at times, so it is wonderful to be unselfish and sacrifice some of their precious time on this earth for others.

However, when the "Jaw" needs to "vent" all of the time; needs a "sympathetic ear" all of the time; and is self-involved to the point where listening "back" is a chore..... then it's time to put an ear plug in the "Golden Ear"....

So do listen to your friends and relatives.... Do give them your ear when they need it.... But if they have only a cursury interest in you and your life, then it's time to pull back on your listening time.

Now some people would say.... "Well, don't be a dope.... just tell them they are being self-involved and you are sick of it..." Hah... The one thing I have learned about people is they are what they are. They won't change because you tell them that you find something about them intolerable. A person who is self-involved will probably always be that way. A person who is over-bearing will always be that way too... and on and on.

So if it's a relative, and you burden them with your honesty, may the Good Lord help you. You have created a family rift.

If it's a "friend" you are honest with, that will not only end the friendship, but end it bitterly... and you will now have an enemy.

So I avoid these relatives and use escape routes.... no hard feelings. With friends... I find that these people were never good "friendship" material anyway... so I just avoid them until they find another victim.

Life is too short to be the "Golden Ear" for an unworthy person, but also too short to fight about it.... Cheers! I hope this helped someone!

Florida Living - My Own Pool

There are drawbacks to living in Florida. I miss seeing my girls and grandsons. Nothing can replace them. However, having a nice "caged" pool is a plus. I get in the water almost every day for an hour of exercise. Up north, our pool got up to 80 degrees one time! Big whoop, I thought I was in 7th Heaven! Down here I am so acclimated to the heat, that if it goes below 85 degrees, I think I am freezing! We have a pool heater, but once it gets hot outside, the water is fine.

Ooops, I used the term "caged" pool. Before living in Florida I didn't know what that was. It means that when I walk out my back door, onto the lanai, the pool is totally enclosed with screening, along with the lanai. No bugs, no mosquitos.... it is heaven! Hah.... I will take the "cage" happily!

July 2, 2009 "Forwarded" E-Mail

Every time I sign in to my e-mail, the first thing I have to do is delete those darned "Forwarded" e-mails that clog my box up! I have told people I don't have time to read those things, and some of them are plain offensive, but they keep a'comin'... I don't mind some people sending me a cute thing once or twice a month, but some people .... honestly I can picture them sitting there, hunched over their computers like a crazed Wizard of Oz... Sending, sending, sending!

I figured out why they don't sort their address books into "groups" to send this stuff to. They Don't Know How To Do That!!! People who send political e-mails should definitely have a Republican group separate from their Democratic group. Come on!

One exception is our local art group who's publicist forwards news of art receptions, contests, opportunities, and interesting art demos.

Well, I don't care if anyone reads this blog or not. I put my thoughts on "forwarded" e-mails out there, and feel a little better for it.... !

Juggling Everything

At 62 I stumbled on an art class in a RV Park in Florida. (Wow, that's original! .... hah!) For $3.00 I could have a three hour lesson using pastels with a group of other fun ladies. Now I call that a "win-win situation".

All my life I have sketched, but not had any lessons using color. What fun! When I returned up north, I entered three of my novice pastel paintings in the Erie County Fair Fine Arts Competition, and came home with 5, (yes - count 'em Five!) ribbons, including "Best of Novice Division".... I actually sold one painting of wilted sunflowers.... The buyer telling me the painting "took the wall". How sweet!

Enough bragging. Since then we sold everything up north and moved permanently to Brooksville, FL. We built a house down here and I have my own studio. Juggling everything is a challenge. If I had my own way I would empty most of the other rooms and work on nothing but my art, but that is not possible.

I have a husband here who sometimes wonders when we are going to eat dinner. Hah.... He wonderfully fixes his own breakfast and lunch, so I have eliminated those chores from my "maid" duties. He also actually changes his own bed now, and puts his own clothes through the washer and dryer without feeling "put upon". He has gotten up at 8:00 a.m. and seen me already working in my studio, so he has become extremely cooperative in caring for himself in basic ways.

He has a "man room", and I visit him there and discuss what we are going to do for dinner, his main concern... hah... This takes care of our biggest concern for the day. (How sweet it is!) We also discuss appointments, and store trips. When you are juggling a lot of things it is best to discuss daily expectations with your partner/spouse/parent/child. That way nobody becomes dissappointed/hurt/angry. How easy life is when you communicate clearly!

With my husband... (who is the antithisist of "domestic") taking charge of a few chores, and helping to care for his own needs, I feel sooo much less pressure! This way I don't feel put upon to thoroughly clean portions of the house when the mood strikes me.

I have tried cleaning ladies, and the two I had in this area were terrible.

One tip.... when a cleaning lady does not turn on the lights in the room she's cleaning, you are in trouble.

Second tip... when the cleaning lady's idea of "deep cleaning" is to wipe the cupboards with one hand with a paper towel while talking with her boyfriend on her cellphone with with other hand, you are also in trouble.

Therefore, I juggle the housework with creating art! Hah...