The "Golden" Listener

(Just thought I would include an image of one of my oil paintings! This is "Orlando Grasshopper".)

My husband and I went out for a pleasant ride this morning. I took reference photos at our local outdoor market, and we viewed some of the countryside from the comfort of our air-conditioned SUV.

We discussed someone we know who I go to great lengths to avoid talking to on the phone. The reason? She talks extensively about her favorite subject - herself - and has no interest in anyone elses life. A one-and 1/2 hour conversation with her will consist of 88 minutes about her, and if I am lucky, 2 minutes about me. The two minutes I have are barely tolerated, and sometimes accented with an audible sigh by her. The rules seem to be, "If you speak, make sure I am the subject. Don't dare try to change the subject to yourself. I called to talk about Me, Me, Me, - don't you get it?"

Hah.... My husband, who cannot be accused of being "wordy", said "She has a Jaw on her." To which I said, "That's a great description! Now all she needs is to develop ears to go with the "jaw". Amen!

So my thought for the day is that everyone should develop the quality of being a "Golden Listener".... A "Golden Listener" will invest their time unselfishly to listening to another person when that person obviously needs a "sympathetic ear", a "sounding board", of to "vent". The "Golden Listener" needs to understand that everyone needs to feel important at times, so it is wonderful to be unselfish and sacrifice some of their precious time on this earth for others.

However, when the "Jaw" needs to "vent" all of the time; needs a "sympathetic ear" all of the time; and is self-involved to the point where listening "back" is a chore..... then it's time to put an ear plug in the "Golden Ear"....

So do listen to your friends and relatives.... Do give them your ear when they need it.... But if they have only a cursury interest in you and your life, then it's time to pull back on your listening time.

Now some people would say.... "Well, don't be a dope.... just tell them they are being self-involved and you are sick of it..." Hah... The one thing I have learned about people is they are what they are. They won't change because you tell them that you find something about them intolerable. A person who is self-involved will probably always be that way. A person who is over-bearing will always be that way too... and on and on.

So if it's a relative, and you burden them with your honesty, may the Good Lord help you. You have created a family rift.

If it's a "friend" you are honest with, that will not only end the friendship, but end it bitterly... and you will now have an enemy.

So I avoid these relatives and use escape routes.... no hard feelings. With friends... I find that these people were never good "friendship" material anyway... so I just avoid them until they find another victim.

Life is too short to be the "Golden Ear" for an unworthy person, but also too short to fight about it.... Cheers! I hope this helped someone!