Roberta's "Fire Drill Adventure" On Holland America's Zweiderdam Cruise Ship!

Last December my Corky and I had our first cruise on the "five star" Holland America "Zweiderdam" Ship... Wow!

Though traveling with almost 2,000 other "cruisers",... I alone experienced a "fire drill adventure" in the middle of the night! This is because I memorized the "Fire Drill" instructions and stored them in that small section of my brain that I keep uncluttered.

During the middle of our first night, the fire alarm was sounded! Oh my God, don't wake up the sharks, they like to feed at night! There was NO follow-up announcement to say "This is just a drill."

So I got out of bed, put on my giant plaid bathrobe, because the Holland America robes don't come in 2X, grabbed my life jacket, then tried to rouse my Corky.

Ever wise and non-plussed on oxycodone for his chronic back pain, he said, "It's just a drill!"... and rolled over.

Well, I stood there for two seconds, trying to decide if I wanted to sacrifice my life because of his bad judgement and I "won"....

I walked through deserted corridors, then struggled down seven flights of stairs with a bad knee! But I did arrive at the appropriate life boat station! (The croud roars!)

Since there was nobody there to lower the lifeboats into the water, I stood there trying to figure out how to do it myself. Was everyone deaf?!

Finally, thank God, a handsome blonde officer in a highly decorated white uniform came around the corner, and I thought "I'm Saved!" (I also thought... "How Casablanca this moment is!"...)

I smiled at him and said "I heard the alarm!"

This was the first time in years that I had been alone with a handsome young man and there I was with "bed-head", my dental plates soaking in foamy cleaner in my "stateroom", with perspiration "pits" evident on my plaid bathrobe, and halitosis was beginning to bloom in my half-empty mouth. Not a pretty picture.

Just then, the Public Address System squealed and the Captain's voice announced "This is just a drill." The hunky officer and I looked at each other for an awkward moment.

I said.... "What? I just climbed down seven flights of stairs!"

He then patted me on the top of the head and said "You're a good girl...." (I think he knew how to handle dogs, and put me in that category! hah.)

Anyway, I resisted the urge to jump up on him and lick his face, and went to the elevator for my lone trip back to the stateroom.

Corky was asleep, so I put my life-jacket in the closet and joined him... anticipating what the next day would bring!

So, if you are planning to go on a cruise and are "size-challenged" ... bring your own attractive bathrobe along. You never know when it might come in handy!

So "Ship Ahoy, Maties", from that wild old lady who wonders how she ended up in Florida! :)